Sex (And Everything but the Kitchen Sink) // Talking Elephants & Tipping Cows // Read
You know those topics that are taboo? The topics that polite conversations avoid? The topics that we’re all thinking about it, but we’re not talking about—especially at church? Yeah...we’re going there. Politics, sex, alcohol, suicide, hell, suffering. We’re talking about all of these “Elephants in the Room” and we might even tip some “Sacred Cows” that have been built up in the process. Now you might be thinking: “This is going to be uncomfortable.” You’re right. It’s going to be uncomfortable...and eye-opening, healing, necessary. There is no better, safer place to discuss these topics than church. So with that in mind...can we talk?
Marriage, sex, relationships, divorce, masturbation, dating, singleness—we’re hitting on all of it! But isn’t the Bible kind of outdated when it comes to this topic? What can we learn about sex, love, and dating in 2022 from a book that was written over 2,000 years ago in the ancient Middle East? The answer may surprise you—and tip over a few sacred cows along the way.
I'm excited for today, we've got a lot to discuss, and I got 40 minutes to do it. So I'm gonna hop right in now and not waste a second longer. So we are in part four of this sermon series talking elephants and tipping cows. And what we're discussing throughout this series are the sacred cows in the room, that we, the elephant in the room that we typically try to avoid talking about right, that maybe we'll discuss a little bit in church, but then we try to get it out of the way. And even when we do talk about it, it's in very churchy ways, right when we're talking about those things throughout the series. And that's actually why we have the stage set up the way we do because we are trying to visually illustrate that we are not preaching at you this series, but we're having a discussion, we're talking with you. So what I want you to imagine is that you are sitting up here in this chair with me, and we're having a discussion talking about what the Bible has to say and what God has to say about some issues that typically we try to keep out of the church. So we've so far discussed the very light and very easygoing topics of politics, hell, and suffering, right? Those are just easy topics to talk about. Yeah, they're difficult. And here's the thing, not only are the topics that we're talking about new series difficult, they're real.
They're real. These are real questions, real things that people are going through, and they need or want some kind of guidance. And what does God have to say about these, for example, last week's sermon about pain and suffering and loss and tragedy. Let me tell you, that's a timely sermon for our church family. We have a lot of people in our church right now who are experiencing life-threatening illnesses, just got bad news from their doctor, we have people whose families are feeling like they're being torn apart because of lies and betrayal, and they're trying to navigate how in the world do we get through this? It's not a foreign concept. These aren't theoretical things. We're discussing. We're discussing real issues that really affect real people. And we're continuing that today. Today, it's going to be more of the same if you're a note-taker. Today's sermon title is sex and everything but the kitchen sink, buckle up.
Buckle up. Let me tell you, this was a difficult sermon to prep for difficult sermon prep for I actually was thinking initially, I was like, maybe I'll do this sermon, kind of like how I did the hell sermon if you're here for our week, where we discussed how the format of that sermon was like a q&a, kind of like, I took 10 of the most popular most frequently asked questions regarding hell. And then we just kind of looked at what the Bible has to say about it, what God has to say about it. And I was thinking, maybe I would do that for today. But I decided no, because the fact is, there are too many questions. I can't make a top 10 Because there isn't a top 10. There's like a top 100. Right. It makes me think I remember being in youth group and my youth leader when anytime we would get ready to go on an event to anywhere that had a swimming pool or a waterpark. They would say, Hey, we're getting ready to do this. Here's a permission slip to get them signed by your parents. Does anybody have any questions immediately, all of the girl's hands would shoot up? Because they had questions about their swimsuits like, Well, can I wear this kind of swimsuit? What about this one? I know you said no to those ones. But what about this one? Well, what about this one? Right? There are nuances and differences. And let me tell you in such a greater way, that's how it is when it comes to the topic of sex. It's a huge umbrella. And there's so much that falls under it. There's no way we could cover it all. Today. There's so much stuff whenever I was doing just a simple search. And I'm telling you, if you looked it up, you would see the exact same thing. And again, like we said, buckle up. We've got a parental warning for this sermon series for this particular sermon today, just because of what we're talking about. But there are tons of questions people like wondering what does the Bible have to say about masturbation? What's it have to say about divorce? What's it have to say about different sexual positions? What's it have to say about LGBT? What to have to say about purity culture? What's it have to say about premarital sex? What's I have to say about living together? What's it have to say about abortion? You're starting to see how we're running out of time, right? Because there is so much, and it's such a huge topic with so many nuances. And also, on top of that, which by the way that anyone's awkward bingo card get filled out. And that last little bit, like hearing my Pastor say masturbation, yep, that's awkward. That's an awkward one. I wasn't planning on that today.
Apart from the fact that we just it's such a huge topic. I did not want to feel like we're today we're giving answers like we've talked about throughout this series when we
Talked about politics when we talked about hell, when we talked about suffering. We're not here we're not doing this series to give you our stance and to build a platform. We're having a discussion. We're having a discussion about what Scripture says about what God says. And we're doing that today. We're having a discussion of what Scripture says. And it's important that we don't ever think of Scripture. And I didn't want this to happen with today to feel like, oh, it's a rulebook. Scripture is a rulebook. And we're here today to get the answers to the rules because that is absolutely not the case. Scripture is not a rulebook. We talked about this just a few series ago, Scripture is the story of how God became king. It's not a rulebook. And I don't want us to improperly use Scripture today. And viewing it as a rulebook is an improper use of Scripture. In fact, I think that's been an issue in the Christian church for some time, that we pretty much just set things up for people to come here to get the answer. Like, we're not going to teach you how to find answers, we're just going to tell you what the answers are. Actually, that's one of the things that got Jesus killed, right. The Pharisees used to be the only ones who knew by heart the 610 commands of the Mosaic law, they were the only ones. So if you had an issue, go talk to the Pharisees, they can tell you how to interpret it and how to view what God would say to do in this matter. So then when Jesus comes along and says, Hey, all of those commands, hang on to loving God and loving people. They lost all their power. What I want us to do today is return to that return to the fact that we are not just giving out answers today. But instead, we are learning an approach today, a biblical approach for how to view the world. I don't want to tell you an answer. I want to teach you an approach. I don't want to give you fish for one day. I want to teach you how to fish, right. So let's get to it. Let's learn to fish today. And the perfect spot that we're going to start is in Romans chapter three. If you want to follow along in your Bible, Romans chapter three, starting in verse 10. This is the perfect place that we have to start a sermon talking about sex. This is what Scripture says. As the Scripture says, no one is righteous, not even one who's righteous.
One more time, who's righteous? No one is okay. No one is righteous. Not even one Paul continues, no one is truly wise. No one is seeking God. All have turned away. All have become useless. No one does good, not a single one. Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave. Their tongues are filled with lies. Snake venom drips from their lips, their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness. They rush to commit murder, and destruction and misery always follow them. They don't know where to find peace. They have no fear of God at all.
Paul's not talking about your worst enemy.
He's not talking about the people that you can't stand. He's not talking about those people. Paul's talking about you. And me.
That's an all escape for us. Paul continues, obviously, the law applies to those to whom it was given for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses. And to show that the entire world is guilty before God, did you hear that the purpose of God's law is to show us how we cannot make it on our own. That's the purpose. But now, God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law. As was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes no matter who we are, everyone has sinned. We all fall short of God's glorious standard. See, we need to be able to admit today, and it is the perfect place for us to start that we, every sinner and every saint, miss God's ideal. All of us, all of us. In fact, you know the biblical word for sin. Whenever we read in Scripture, the word that is used, the actual word is harm. Matea. Harmonia is a word it's a Greek word. And what it means is to miss the mark. That's the literal definition of sin. To miss the mark. It's a word that was actually used a lot when referring to archery or trying to aim for something trying to aim to hit a bull's eye. So whenever we sin, what we are doing is missing the mark. And I think we all need to admit, no matter where you are at sexually, you missed the mark. Everybody does. We missed the mark, why don't you turn to your neighbor and say I missed the mark button in the chat. I missed the mark. And then you can turn back to him and say, I know. I know. That ain't news to me. I'm aware I was just waiting for you to admit it, right
So whenever we look
Get what people would say and what a lot of you know theologians and scholars would say is that we see different ideals set up in Scripture. We see Genesis as the ideal setup in First Corinthians 13. These ideals, and guess what, everybody, everybody, everybody misses it.
I don't care how holy you think your relationship is. You've missed it. The holiest, righteous people that I know, the people who follow Jesus with the most sincerity that they could possibly muster, miss it.
We all miss the mark. It makes me think in South Korea, there's a golf course called Goosen Country Club. This is nuts. If you know anything about golf, you'll understand any golf fans in the room, golf fans, I see like two hands. So I'm really gonna need to explain this real quick. So in golf, typically, especially in the United States, you tap out like a par five, right? That there's a hole, and it's really long. And if you can get it within five shots, get the ball from the tee to the hole and five shots. That's good. That's average, right? Like that's, that's what you should be able to hit. The best you can do. Obviously, there's a hole in one called an ace getting a hole in one that's the best. So the best you could ever play on a golf course is shooting 18 through 18 holes, a hole-in-one on every single hole, right? It's pretty much impossible, especially if you're playing Goossen Country Club in South Korea. This is why they have a hole that is a par seven. And the distance from the tee box to the hole is 1097 yards.
1097 yards to give you some context because, again, I know we've got a lot of golf fades in here. To give you some context. The best, most powerful, most fit, most athletic golfers today drive the ball off the tee anywhere between 303 and 150 yards. The most skilled, the most powerful with the wind at their back with it going downhill, hit maybe 375-380. That's it.
So basically, what I'm telling you is no one ever hitting an ace on this par seven at Goosen Country Club, right? Like, the best you can hope is like par or maybe a birdie or maybe an eagle, you aren't getting an ace. That's the ideal, and you miss it. And everyone misses it every single time. That's the case for us. We miss the mark. And we all need to admit that, especially now, listen to the mark that Jesus set up. This is from Matthew chapter five, verses 27 and 28. Jesus says this, you've heard about the commandment that says you must not commit adultery. But I say anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in their heart.
Do you see what Jesus is doing? Jesus isn't trying to condemn what Jesus is trying to do is say, hey, look, you think you're good? Because you've remained faithful? You haven't committed adultery? Let me tell you, and the standard is way different than you think it is. It's way higher than you think it is. And you are going to miss the mark. We, every center, every saint, miss God's ideal. We miss God's ideal. So am I saying that that means it's okay to miss the mark? Well, since we all miss it, just whatever. Doesn't matter. We all miss the mark. No, I'm not saying that. But here's what's important. Here's what's important. Why do we try to hit the mark? Why do we try to hit the mark? Basically, the question is, why is sin? Sin?
Why is sin? How you answer this actually will say a lot about how you view God. It really will. Because if you believe that sin is kind of random and arbitrary, then you'll believe that God is just this cruel Father who just decided that you know what, I'm just gonna pick and choose, there's no reason this is bad. And this is good. I'm just gonna make all the stuff that feels good. I'm going to make it bad, that it'll be funny, then just see I'm trying to squirm and try to follow it as best they can. That is not how it works. That's not how it works. There is a reason behind God's commands. It's not random. There's a reason behind everything he asks us to do. So you see, whenever we sin, what it really is, sin is missing the mark and missing the mark, we have a failure to live up to our birthright of failure to live up to what we were created and designed to do. God as Father, I think about that, that's the most common description of him in Scripture, how we relate to Him as God as our Father. And so I think about that in my own life.
With my kids, I don't give a command to my kids just for the heck of it. Like
There's no reason for you not to do that. There's no reason for you not to go on the road. I just it'll be fun to tell you not to write, like no, there's a purpose, and there's a reason behind that command.
Right, because I want what's best for them. And I want them to be able to live a flourishing and hopefully long life that isn't ended by running on the road, right? There's a purpose behind my commands. And the same is true with God. So sin is the failure to live up to our birthright because God as our Father wants the best for us. He wants us to have a flourishing life. Listen to how Jesus says this is from the book of John, John chapter 10, verses seven through 10. Jesus says I tell you the truth, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me were thieves and robbers, but the true sheep did not listen to them. Yes, I am the gate. Those who come in through me will be saved, they will come and go freely, and we'll find good pastures. See, the thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy but listen to Jesus's purpose. But my purpose is to give everyone a rich and satisfying life.
That's Jesus's purpose. That's the purpose behind the commands. That's the purpose behind what he asks us to do that we would have a full and flourishing life.
God wants the best for us. So when we miss the mark, it's not about God wanting to punish us. It's about hey, that says you're going to now suffer the natural consequences of not living towards how I designed you to live. That's just how it is. Right? It's just the natural consequence. And what ends up happening is we can hurt ourselves, and in the process, we hurt God. But here's, here's what's so important. Man, we have believed for far too long that if I do or don't do XYZ, then God's gonna hate me.
And that's been our motivating factor for trying not to miss the mark. Why I want to hit the mark is because otherwise, God's gonna hate me. I don't want to get divorced, or else God's gonna hate me. I better not lust because God's gonna hate me. I better not look at pornography because God's gonna hate me. I better not engage in premarital sex because God's gonna hate me. We better not live together because God's going to hate me. Can I tell you that is a terrible motivator, a terrible motivator. And sadly, the church has pushed it for way too long. Especially there's a period of time during the 90s and into the 2000s, where the church really got into this kind of idea of purity culture. Have you guys ever heard of that before? Purity culture, which, you know, trying to remain sexually pure is a good thing. But there was an overemphasis on it to the point that we practically deified being sexually pure, that it's like the highest mark of the Christian life is that you follow every aspect of the Christian sexual ethic. And if you do it, Bravo, and if you don't, who God, I don't know about your walk with God, I don't know where you're going to be with him to such a point that we would say terrible heretical things. There's a story of a pastor, and this is a true story. Pastor Matt, Matt Chandler has told this story of a conference that he was speaking at the Pastor before him, he didn't give his name. He's like, I don't want to lambaste this man. But I just want to tell you what happened. This past who was speaking before him at this conference had a rose. And he said, Hey, I'm gonna pass this out in the crowd. And I want you guys this beautiful, perfect rose, and I want you to take a sniff, smell it, and then pass it on to the next person. So they did that. He continues talking up there, and the rose makes its way all around the room and gets back up to him. He gets it on the stage. By the time he gets it. The rose is like beaten and cracked, petals have fallen off. And it looks like a shell of its former self, right? And he holds it up. And he says this is exactly what happens when you sleep around. This is what you look like. Here's what your soul looks like. Now, let me ask if you're someone who's looking for a future spouse, who in the world is going to want this.
Pastor Matt Chandler said he was standing off stage, and it took everything within him to not run out and scream, Jesus. Jesus wants the rose. It's the whole point of the gospel that Jesus wants the rose. But we had built up this false idol that sexual purity equals the peak echelon of godliness. And if you don't fall into that, well, then you're just less than you're not as good as everybody else. You're not as Christian as everybody else. And that's just not the case. It's just not the case. So we have got to be careful of setting up these false idols, especially when it comes to sexuality. I know you may be thinking, but wait for a second, won't won't sexual sin, send me to hell won't miss the mark in a sexual way. Send Me To Hell, hear me on this, and this is complex. It's gonna take me a second to break this down. No, not if you trust in Jesus. It will not let me build out on this.
You see, whenever Jesus won his victory on the cross, it was a two-fold victory. What Jesus did was he freed us from the control of sin in the present and the consequence of sin in the future. I'm gonna say it again. Jesus freed us from the control of sin in the present.
And the consequence of sin in the future, Jesus gave us salvation and sanctification. These two things are different. And when we confuse them, we hurt ourselves, and we hurt other people. Because salvation is instantaneous. We get it in a moment when we declare that Jesus is Lord and that we're turning our life over to Him. Boom. That's the moment of salvation. Sanctification is not a momentary thing. It is a process. It's a lifelong process. I talked to my 94-year-old grandfather before he died, he talked about how he was still undergoing sanctification, one of the godliest men I've ever known, still saying, hey, at 94, I'm still in process. Jesus is still working on my heart still working. In my soul. Salvation comes in instant sanctification comes in a process. It's different. And because it's different, those are two separate things that we should not confuse. That's why it's possible for us to struggle with sexual sin and still be saved.
Hear me, that's why it's possible for there to be areas that you missed the mark, sexually, but still, be saved. And that's why I would say this, and I know this sounds Whoa. That's why the Christian sexual ethic, yes, it matters. But it does not matter most. It is not the main thing. And God forgives us for the times that we tried to make it the main thing, and we've deified it and lifted it up as the peak idea of godliness. Because it's not, it's not.
We can struggle with sin and still be saved. Which honestly, it kind of begs the question, why have we made sexual sin? Sexual ways of missing the mark? Why have we made those the main thing?
Right? Like what do you think? Do your homework, don't, don't just take my word for it. Read your Bible, read your Bible, and look at what Scripture says about a whole variety of missing the mark. Look at the frequency with winter comes up, look at different things. And ask yourself, why have we made sexual sin? The main thing? We may not say it is right, we've dug a hole. What are you talking about, clutch our pearls? I've never made that the main thing. Oh, my. And we don't have to articulate it that way for us to act like it's that way. And that's what we do. We don't articulate it that way. But we act like it's that way. That's why we will condemn certain people because they missed the mark in a certain way. Why have we done that? Why have we made it the main thing if I could offer up just my own opinion on it? I think it's because it's the easiest to spot.
And because it's the easiest to spot. It's easiest for us to feel better about ourselves. Oh, they're living together. Oh, I would never write like, oh, did you hear they got a divorce? Man. Yeah, I used to think they were up here now. Wow. Too bad, too bad.
Do you see the other sins that Scripture talks about? A lot. The other ways of missing the mark are jealousy, greed, comparison, gossip, hatred, and pride, man, and they got some fantastic masks, don't they? Who some of them can even mask as faith? Gossip? Whoa, whoa. I don't know where you're getting that from? I'm just saying you need to be praying for them because of what they're going through. Did you hear what they're going through? Let me tell you so you can be praying as well. Like, who else wants me to spill the tea so we can all be praying for so and so, right? These other sins, man, they have fantastic masks are fantastic masks. But some of them are easier to spot, especially ones that happen to be sexual in nature, they're easier to spot. And it's easier for us to feel holier than everybody else when the fact of the matter is we all miss the ideal, every single one. So here's the truth. If there is sexual impurity, if you are missing the mark in a sexual area, you can still go to heaven. How do I know this? I wish I could remember what Pastor said, I could attribute it to them, but I can't. This is how I know that you can go to heaven. Even with sexual purity. Sexual impurity won't keep you out of heaven because sexual purity won't get you into heaven.
They won't. That's a good Amen moment. Just letting you guys know that's a perfect Amen moment right there. It's like built for it.
That's the fact of the matter. Sexual impurity will not keep you out because sexual purity ain't getting you in. You're not getting up there because, well, like I mean, you are aware that I didn't sleep with anybody before marriage. I've never lusted, I've never looked at porn. I've never masturbated. I've never done any of these things. I'm pretty much an angel. So I just get to go up there now. Right? That is not how it's going to work again. We're not hearing my opinion today, except for what I believe is the reason for why
The reason behind why we focus on this so much and make it the main thing outside of that nothing that I'm speaking about today is my opinion. It's Scripture. Listen to what Scripture has to say about this. Let's look at Romans chapter nine, or chapter 10, verses nine and 11. This is the Apostle Paul, if you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.
No qualifiers, no addendums, No. And if you wait until marriage, and if you make sure you never masturbate, and you make sure you never look at pornography, and you never get divorced and know if you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved for it is believing in your heart that you are made right with God. And it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. And as the Scriptures tell us, anyone who trusts in God will never be disgraced. That is the condition for salvation. Again, I want to emphasize this, I'm not trying to diminish sexual sin diminish missing the mark in a sexual area, what I'm trying to do is not have as deify anymore, level, set it level, set it with everything else and get everybody off of their high horse who feels like they're doing everything so well. Because you're not, and I'm not, we are all sinners in need of a Savior. And thank God, we have one. Thank God we have one, thank God, we have Jesus who saves us. So if you miss the mark sexually, this is what I'll tell you, Jesus can save your future. And he can sanctify your current day, your present. But it's a process. It's a process. And what that means is that a process doesn't always look like what I think it should look like. It doesn't happen at the speed that I always wish that it would happen. And it may not even look to others like there's a process happening sometimes. But it's a process. Because God is a good father. And a good father, if you're a good parent, you know, you relate to your children differently. You don't parent them all the same, and you don't treat them all the exact same, there's a difference there. There's a difference there because they're not all the same. There are individual differences, and you need to relate to them. That's true love relating to your kids. And man, God is such a better parent than you. And he's such a better parent than I am. He's a good, good, good, good father. And so, he relates to us individually. And it is an individual process. Again, let me give you not my opinion, Scripture, we talked about these two guys all the time, the here at Cornerstone, the rich young ruler, and the thief on the cross, two men who come to Jesus looking for eternal life, two wildly different approaches, two wildly different backgrounds, and two wildly different reactions from Jesus. So the rich young ruler, this man who comes to Jesus and says Jesus, I'm looking for eternal life, what do I need to do? Jesus tells him, you know, the commands and starts rattling off some of the 10 commandments. The rich young ruler says I've been keeping all of these since I was a kid. And Jesus doesn't say. No, you're a liar. No, you have it. Right. Jesus says, Okay, I'll grant you that that's, that's great. You've been doing these things.
Another thing I need to tell you to do is sell everything you own, give it to the poor, then come follow me.
The rich young ruler turned around, depressed because he had so much he didn't want to do that. Right? This guy who all of us would have been like, wow, this guy's getting it. It's keeping all the commandments, man, he's doing better than I am, right? He's doing better than I've ever done. I have a bad pass. He's been doing these since he was a kid. On the flip side, the thief on the cross, this guy who obviously did something bad enough to have the Romans execute him. This guy who appears, from what we know, to have not been following any of the Jewish Mosaic Law, he wasn't following any of it wasn't keeping commands. All he says to Jesus is Jesus remember me today when you enter your kingdom? And Jesus says, I will today you'll be with me in paradise.
Two wildly different situations, two wildly different approaches to wildly different processes. It looks different. It feels different. And so what I want to tell you is if you are someone who you're like, Man, I'm trying, like I'm trying, I feel like I'm growing. I'm reading Scripture, I'm praying, I'm worshiping. I'm trying to get close to God, and I feel the Holy Spirit. Like I feel him growing me. Like I feel him speaking to me, I feel him witnessing to my heart. But you feel like people, and you have people who are condemning you or talking bad about you. Let me tell you to keep pushing through because the process of sanctification is just that it's a process. Don't let people knock you off that process. Don't let people get in the way of hearing between you and God. Keep doing what you're doing because God is faithful. God is faithful, and He will see you through that process because that's exactly what it is. It's a process. It's a process, and it may not be what we always think it's going to be. Now for some of us, that can be hard to hear because our mindset has always.
But doesn't God-like hate sin, and he can't even be around sin, and Jesus can't be around sins? Don't we need to like instantly just purge everything. So the second we come to Jesus, it's just like salvation and sanctification in that exact moment. No, yes, God does hate sin. But no, it's not instantaneous. And no, Jesus can't be around sin. You want evidence that Jesus can be around sin. He's in you.
Look no further than the mere. I'm the proof. Right here. Pastor Jacob is the proof that Jesus can be around sin.
He can be in us, he could be around sin.
In fact, I would wager to say that we have no idea how much God accommodates our sin.
That's not personal enough. I'm gonna try to make eye contact with everybody in this room real quick and online. Because I don't, I don't want to generalize our sin. God accommodates us. No, no.
God accommodates your sin.
The sin nobody else knows. But you know,
God accommodates you. God meets you where you're at. And you have no idea how much he is accommodating. No idea.
Listen to this. This is another scriptural example of God accommodating of making concessions of meeting us where we're at. Listen to this. This is Matthew chapter 19. Some Pharisees came and tried to trap Jesus with a question, Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife for any just any reason? Having to read the scriptures, Jesus replied, They record that from the beginning, God made them male and female. And he said, This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to the wife, and the two are united into one since they are no longer two, but one let no one split apart what God has joined together. Well, then why did Moses say in the law that a man could give his wife a written divorce, a written notice of divorce, and send her away? Listen to Jesus's response. Now, what they're talking about, Why did Moses say in the law, they're talking about the Mosaic Law, they're talking about the law that God gave to His people. And this is what Jesus says in verse eight, Jesus replied, Moses, permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts.
Only as a concession,
only as accommodation only as God meeting people where they are because we all miss the mark, Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your heart's hearts, but it's not what God had originally intended. And I tell you this, Whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery unless his wife has been unfaithful. Listen to Jesus's disciples, Jesus disciples then said to him, Well, if this is the case, it's better not to marry. Right? In verse 11, Jesus says, Not everyone can accept this statement. Only those whom God helps
Here that God accommodates us. It's hilarious that we can think like, Oh no, I've purged every bit of sin from my life. God doesn't have to accommodate me. The process of salvation is accommodation. Right? We deserve death, and Jesus stepped in.
We have no idea how much God accommodates our sin. Think about this for a moment, we want to talk about accommodation. If we talk about, like I said earlier, the Christian theologians point to Genesis chapter two of setting up the Christian sexual ideal. Guess what? That's Genesis chapter two, by Genesis chapter four, we have polygamy.
By Genesis four, just two chapters later, people are getting married to multiple wives having multiple spouses. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, some of the people that we look up to, some of the people that you've got words that they wrote tattooed on your body, right? You've got Psalm 23 tattooed on you written by a polygamist. We name our kids David. And he was a polygamist. How in the world would God be able to use someone like that? I just don't know how God could use someone like that. Well, he did. He did. And he still does. That's because God doesn't look at us missing the mark and say, Well, I'm on board with my plan. No, he accommodates he meets us where we're at and still works in the middle of it. And let me tell you, I know because I've studied it. What you will notice is that all of those guys that I mentioned, all of these people who have multiple, multiple spouses, King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Think about that for a second.
Shocking, like, absolutely shocking. And one thing I'll note is that you will find you won't find a single verse in the Scripture.
Were any of them, Repent for this fact?
Not a single verse of remorse, not a single verse saying, Oh, I missed the idea that God set up in the garden. I've missed it. And, man, I'm so wrong, you won't find a single verse, Not one.
And yet, God still works in them. God still works through them because our God is a God of accommodation. In fact, we want to talk about the ideal. Can I tell you the ideal now. And most Christians don't even know this, but it's in our Bible. It's in our Bible. Did you know that the ideal today isn't even marriage? How many people knew that coming in?
Exactly. Listen to this. This is the Apostle Paul, First Corinthians chapter seven, verses eight and nine. Listen to what the Apostle Paul says about singleness and being married. That's what he says, starting in verse eight. So I say to those who aren't married, and to widows, so if you're a widower, or you're single right now, this is what the Apostle Paul says, It's better to stay unmarried just as I am. That's the ideal. Don't get married, don't get married. So if you're, if you're single, or your window, don't get married, then listen to this concession is what the Apostle Paul says. But if you can't control yourself, then you should go ahead and marry. It's better to marry than to burn with lust. So think about that. What the Apostle Paul outlines in Scripture is, hey, look, you want to know the new ideal, the new ideal is singleness. But if you're such a lust-filled person that you're burning with lust, then as a concession, go ahead and get married.
Most of us don't even know that.
Right? That's the ideal. That's the preferable thing when it comes to our sexual relationships. We have no idea how much God accommodates, and that right there is why we can't just view the Bible as just well, it's just a rulebook. That's what this just is. It's just a rule book. That will leave us that kind of view of Scripture will leave us confused and unsure about everything. But here's what I want to say, to kind of wrap this whole little talk on accommodation up real quick. All those Old Testament saints that we just talked about King David, King Solomon, Jacob, Abraham, Abraham, the Father of our faith, King David, the forerunner to Jesus, a man that God said was a man after my own heart. Does anyone in here all of these men who had who completely missed the Christian sexual ethic ideal? Do we think any of them is not going to be in heaven?
Is there really anyone in here who thinks, oh, Abraham, the Father of our faith, a man who God credited his faith as righteousness to him? Do we really think we're gonna get to heaven? And God's like, oh, yeah, no, he's not here. You didn't know he was a polygamist couldn't allow him in here. But couldn't, couldn't let him dirty the place up, right? Like, do we think it God's gonna say that about King David? Or King Solomon? Do we really think that? No, of course not. God was still able to work in them and through them. And the same is true of us. You know, that's, that's one of the reasons here at Cornerstone. We pretty much whenever it comes to people volunteering, serving, being a part of things, we allow everybody to, we allow everybody, we don't care if you've been divorced, we don't care. You know, we want to know why we take everything on a case-by-case basis because if we didn't allow people who have sinned in their lives to serve, there would be nobody serving. You wouldn't have a pastor.
I wouldn't be up here. God exclusively uses sinners. Very exclusive about it. He doesn't use anybody else. God exclusively uses centers. And we don't just say that here at Cornerstone. We believe that here at Cornerstone, I'm not just paying lip service up here. I truly believe that God has areas in my life, he is still working on me. I am a work in process. I am not perfect. My wife, I'm surprised and Amen me at that moment. And then I got stuff I'm still working on that God is still working on in me. God exclusively uses centers, and here's why God does that. This is why I think this is the case that we can have sin in our life. We can miss the mark in our life. But God says, you know what, I'm still able to use you. I'm still able to use you. I'm still able to bring glory out of your life and bring glory through your life. I'm still able to do this because what is your core identity is the most important thing. And so, let's talk about it from a sexual standpoint. Real quick, so, okay, I have many identities, right? Many identities. I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a son. I'm a pastor. I'm a Cleveland sports fan. Please pray for me.
I'm kind of a nerd. I like tech stuff. I like Marvel like I like all those kinds of things. Those are all different identities. But guess what? Every single one of those identities, including the one
Ones that you're like, Whoa, those are the big ones, Father, husband, every one of those identities must come and unbelievable, not even close second to my identity and Jesus, every single one of them. Anytime any identity starts to move up to the place of the throne of my heart, then it's an issue, then it's an issue, then God can't work with that. God says, well, something's got to change here because I can't work. I can't work with this competing affection. I need to be the king of your life, I need to sit on the throne. Think about it this way. There is no modifier to the title Christian. There's no modifier. You're not a married Christian, you're not a straight Christian. You're not a gay Christian, you're not a black Christian, you're not a minority Christian, you are a Christian. Everything else has to bow the knee to Jesus. And if you have a hard time making those things, bow the knee, if I have a hard time making my marriage, bow the knee to Jesus, then I've made an idol out of my marriage. And I need to be careful because God can't work with that. That's the sin we need to be careful of the sin of elevating any other identity to the point where it is on par with our identity. In Christ, every other identity must bow the knee to our core identity in Jesus. Listen how the Apostle Paul phrases that this is the last Scripture we'll look at for today. Philippians chapter two, starting.
In verse six, though he was God, Jesus did not consider equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges, he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience in surrender to God and died on a criminal's death on a cross. And therefore, God has elevated him to the place of highest honor. And he has given him the name above all other names, that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth, and under the earth and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, every knee, and every identity must bow before Jesus. It's the only identity that truly matters. And if we ever tried to elevate anything to that point, we miss it. And not just us, if anyone else tries to point to our identity and try to elevate certain aspects of it up there in the wrong because everything, everything, everything clings to and hinges on and relies on our identity in Christ. I'm going to ask the worship team to come back up on the stage. And as they do, I want to just kind of sum everything up for us that we've been talking about today real quick.
Of course, missing the mark matters, of course, because God wants us to live a flourishing life. He wants us to live the way that he designed us to live. And he knows that the natural consequences of going against that can hurt us can lead us to not living a fulfilling life. So yes, absolutely. Pursue holiness, but not because eternity hangs in the balance. But because your fulfilling life hangs in the balance. That's why we pursue holiness. That's why we try to hit the mark, and all of it, all of it, all of it comes down to surrender.
Now, I'm not just talking about sex, I'm talking about every aspect of our lives. Every aspect of our lives comes down to surrender. Are we willing to surrender ourselves to Jesus to say, You know what, Jesus, I want you to be the Lord here because I know on my own, I can't do it on my own, I can't handle it on my own, I'm going to make poor decisions, and I'm going to lead to a life that will be less than the fulfilling life you have in mind for me.
And these next moments worship team is going to lead us, and as they do, I want to encourage you to make that decision today, to surrender to Jesus, to surrender to Him, to say, You know what I am giving you my life, because I know I can't handle it on my own. I know on my own, I'm going to torpedo my future, and I don't want that to happen anymore.
You can physically show your surrender, you can stand and worship. You can kneel at your seat if you want to. You can come forward to the altar. But whatever your exterior posture looks like, make sure that your interior heart posture is one of humility. One of surrender, one of saying Jesus, I agree with you about my condition, and that you need to be in control and surrender to Jesus in these next moments.