What’s Your Measuring Stick? // The Prison of Comparison // Read
Devil does is wake us up - then we take it from there! And in our day and age, there’s one specific way we shoot ourselves in the foot time and time again: Comparison. We live online, sharing the highlights (and lowlights) of our lives. We’re more aware than ever who our literal and metaphorical neighbors are, what they have, and exactly how we fall short or outshine them. Comparison may seem harmless, but it’s a serious threat. It’s a prison that will rob us of the life we were made to live. So it’s time for a jail break! It’s time to get freedom from Comparison’s toxic mindset! It’s time to start seeing ourselves and others as Jesus intended!
Comparison may have a bad reputation, but not all comparison is negative. What matters is what and who you are comparing yourself to. How you measure success. Are you using the standard that the world and culture has set? If so, you’ll learn soon enough that you’ll fall short every time. Instead, we need to learn to measure ourselves by God’s standard and see how we can measure up where it matters most.
Now let's get to it. Let's get to today's sermon. So we're in this series, the prison of comparison, right? And we're looking at how some of the worst wounds that we experience in life, some of the worst suffering that we undergo is self-inflicted suffering, right? It's the way we shoot ourselves in the foot. And one of the worst ways we can do that, and one of the ways that we do it so often is through comparison. Through comparison, we compare ourselves and we do it in the wrong way, right? We, we do it in an unhealthy manner. And it leads to an improper view of ourselves. So if you've been with us, we like I said, we're in week three. So we've already had two Sundays, if you've missed these, you can go online and check them out on our archive. But what we've looked at is how when we compare ourselves to other people, whenever we compare how we're doing and what we're up to, with how other people are doing and what they're up to, when we do that, it typically leads to one of two outcomes. We either feel superior to the people around us, or we feel inferior, right. And that's what we've been looking at these last two Sundays, the fact that whenever we compare ourselves to other people if we want to, we can find people who are doing worse than us. And we can feel better about ourselves, because we look at them, and we say, thank God, I'm not like this person, thank God, I'm doing better than they are right. And we can become judgmental, we can become harsh. And we can actually get to a place where we start to trust in our goodness, rather than God's grace. And that is not a place any of us want to be right. That is not where we want to be. So we want to avoid feeling superior to people through comparison. We also want to avoid feeling inferior to people, because of comparison, right? We don't want to be walking around feeling inadequate and trying to mimic and copy other people because they're so great, and they're so wonderful. And maybe if I just live a carbon, carbon copy of their life, then I'll be happy, then I'll live a fulfilling life.
That's not the way that it works. In fact, you can ruin your life trying to run somebody else's race, right? You can ruin your life. And so no, you have a race that God has designed for you. You have a life, you have a purpose that God has designed for you. And that's the race that you need to run. So don't be distracted, trying to be somebody else feeling inferior. Be careful how you compare yourself. So after these last two weeks, it would be easy to come to the conclusion that pastor Jacob is saying all comparisons are bad. never compare myself. Because if I compare myself, I'm either going to feel superior, or I'm going to feel inferior, right? So just never ever compare. Is that what you're saying? Well, yes and no, right? If you're going to compare yourself in an unhealthy way, absolutely never compare. But not all comparisons are negative. I mentioned that back in week one, I'd said that we would hit it before the series ends, and that's what we're gonna hit today. Not all comparisons are bad. So I want to let you know today you can compare yourself there, there are certain times that comparisons are helpful, and they're good, but you have to take into account two things. Okay? Two things must be taken into account as you compare yourself, measurement and matter, measurement and matter. And we're going to get into those. today.
Let's talk about measurement. First, I want to ask you guys a question. If you're watching online, put this in the comments. What's your measuring stick? If you're watching in-house, want to turn the person next to you and say, what's your measuring stick? What is your measuring stick comparison isn't inherently bad, maybe you're just using the wrong measurement. Maybe the measuring stick that you've been using as you compare yourself is the wrong measuring stick. Things can get kind of wonky when we use the wrong measurements can it things can get a little off-kilter. I remember whenever I was in high school, and this is I'm being very vulnerable right now. This is probably the most vulnerable moment I've ever had from a stage when I was in high school, which was back in like the early, early to mid-2000s frosted tips were a thing like they looked incredible right frosted tips on the spiky hair and so yes, there was a period of time where I took the plunge and I kid you not I had frost. I had frosted tips, and whenever I went to get it done. I bought like a box because I wasn't going anywhere to get it done right. That's humiliating. I'm like I'm trying this at home. I'm not I'm not going into a salon and get this done. So I got a box and I took it home. And I remember it like had a thing where you're supposed to like, kind of gauge what color your hair And that will tell you how much you should use of this dye powder. And I measured wrong like I just measured wrong. And so what was supposed to be these like, beautiful blonde frosted tips became like a burnt orange color. And it just looked terrible.
I instantly went from like, Okay, I have this look to Yeah, I'm doing a bus cut like this is this is all bad. And it's all because I had the wrong measurement. It's all because I had the wrong measurement, the wrong measurement could lead to terrible results can make me feel inferior. I remember after that happened feeling like oh, my goodness, like, What do I do? I can't leave the house. Like I have to wear a ball cap everywhere. I can't leave like this is just, it's terrible. And it made me feel inferior. Just like we talked about last week. On the flip side, man, I've seen people that I know. And I've seen people post on Facebook. And I've heard stories of people who have been in financial debt. And they're telling the story about how they got out of it. And it's incredible, right? It's It's amazing. And I'm like, Wow, that's so cool. Like Dave Ramsey talks about people who get out of debt, and it's so amazing. But whenever I hear people talking about sometimes I think wow, how did they ever allow that to happen? How did they ever get in that much debt like 45,000 50,070 $5,000? Like, that's, that's so much. And I think I'm like why I've never been in that much debt. Like I can feel pretty good about myself, like, wow, I've never been there before. I'm using the wrong measuring stick. Because you see where they come from their background, the example that their parents gave of how to manage money, the kind of finances they had to start with is completely and utterly different than what I was given completely and utterly different than the thought processes that were built into me from a young age from my parents. I'm using the wrong measuring stick.
Why am I comparing myself to them and feeling good about myself? whenever it's the wrong measurement? to begin with? Wrong measurements lead to wonky results, they just do every single time. And so whenever we're trying to compare ourselves because again, some comparison can be good when we're trying to compare ourselves and find out. Okay, how do I measure myself? What do I measure myself against, we have got to make sure we're using the right measuring stick. You can't bake a cake with the wrong measurements. You can't buy a suit. If you have the wrong measurements, you can't build a house with the wrong measurements. So how in the world do we think we can build our life? If we are measuring ourselves against the wrong thing? What is our measuring stick? What are we using? As our method of comparison? What are we measuring ourselves against?
Listen to what Scripture says this is from Scripture, I'm going to read you to two sets of verses one from the book of Second Corinthians one from the book of Galatians. This is what the Apostle Paul says, whenever it comes to us comparing ourselves, this is what Paul says we do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves. They are not wise. They are foolish, Paul saying be careful about what you use as your measuring stick. What are you comparing yourself with? Are you comparing yourself with good measurement, and this is what he says in the book of Galatians. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not they deceive themselves, each one should test their actions, then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else. The Bible warns strongly against comparing when using the wrong measurement. So I want to say it again. What's your measuring stick? What's your measuring stick comparisons aren't inherently bad, but man, what are you measuring your life up against? What are you measuring yourself up against?
And this is what I want to say be careful trusting your own assessment of yourself and others' assessment of yourself. Because sometimes it can be skewed right? Sometimes it can be off base. Sometimes it can be just wrong because you can be too hard on yourself or other people can be too hard on you. So we just need to be careful when we're looking at our life when we try to compare and make sure Hey, am I measuring up to what I should be measuring up to in life because again, some comparison is good. But when we do that, we have to be so so careful that we are listening to the right voice. And I'm telling you right now, your voice is not the right voice. In fact, the voice of some people around you is not necessarily the right voice either because they don't know you. So trying to compare yourself and saying well man do I measure up in life because this is what they say about me in this They say about me. Well, they don't really know you, because they're not you. Or hey, I remember my mom telling me the story about, she's told him multiple times in sermons before to her brothers, uncle, my uncle Dwight, and my Uncle Jay, whenever they were little, got into a fight, my uncle j would always mess around with him, you give him nuggies, little things like that. And he did it one time. And uncle Dwight said, Oh, that hurt. And Uncle Jay said to him that didn't hurt. My grandpa turned around and said to my Uncle Jay, how would you know? That's not your head? How do you know that that hurt? Like, how do you know it's not your head? How are you measuring how much that should have hurt him, You have no idea. And I want to let you know the same is true for you. Some people around you may be trying to measure you and tell you what measurement you need to have. But man, they don't know you. They don't know where you're coming from, they don't know what you're experiencing. They don't know what you're going through. So be careful when you hear other people's assessments. Be careful when you hear how other people are measuring you.
People may be able to input into your life. And that is true when we need people in our life to input in us and, and help us and push us forward. But man, people only can know you so well. People can only know you so intimately, people can only know you so accurately. So if that's true, and if we can't trust our own assessment of ourselves, because man, we can lie to ourselves, can't we? We can't trust our own measurement of ourselves. And we have to be careful listening to other people's measurements of ourselves, then what in the world is our measuring stick? If it's not us, and it's not other people, and with that question in mind what I want us to do, I want us to look at two different men in Scripture, two different men in Scripture, and see how through their life, we can see the appropriate way that we can measure ourselves that we can compare ourselves because again, some comparisons are good the two people are going to look at if you spent time in church before you may have heard of these two people, we're going to be looking at the rich young ruler, and the thief on the cross these two men we don't actually know their real names. We mostly know them by their titles that scripture gives them the rich young ruler and the thief on the cross. So first, we're going to read about the rich young ruler.
This is from the book of Mark, Mark chapter 10. Listen to what Scripture says. This is a man who approaches Jesus during Jesus’s ministry here on Earth. As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. Good teacher, he asked, What must I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus answered, you know the commandments, you shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, Honor your father and mother, teacher, he declared, all of these I have kept since I was a boy. Jesus looked at him and loved him. One thing you lack, Jesus said, go sell everything you have to the poor, and then you will have treasure in heaven. Then come follow me. At this, the man’s face fell. He went away sad because he had great wealth. What’s the measuring stick there? As see to himself, the rich young ruler, he comes up to Jesus. He’s saying, Jesus, my measuring stick, man, I’ve been keeping all of the commandments since I was a boy. I’ve been doing good. I’ve been doing good. The measuring stick of other people’s opinion, man, can you imagine Jesus disciples at this moment hearing this man talking Jesus, they’re probably thinking, why isn’t this guy with us? Why isn’t this dude one of the disciples he should be your right hand, man, this guy’s incredible? He’s been keeping all of the commandments of law ever since he was a boy, by all accounts by all measurements. He looked great. But Jesus challenges him and he walks away. He didn’t hear what he had hoped to hear.
What was the measuring stick? Keep that in mind. I want to talk about the next man. Now the thief on the cross. This is what Scripture says about the thief on the cross. This is later in Jesus's ministry after he's been arrested. And he is now hanging on the cross in between two criminals. And this is what Scripture says in Luke 23. Starting in verse 39, one of the criminals who hung their hurled insults at Jesus, aren't you the Messiah, save yourself and us. But the other criminal rebuked him. Don't you fear God? He said, since we are under the same sentence, we are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong. Then he said, Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom? Jesus answered him truly. I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise. What's the measuring stick there? What's the measuring stick there? Think about it to this own man to this thief on the cross What's he say about himself his own assessment of himself, hey, we're getting what we deserve. Stop, stop shouting at him. He's innocent. But for us, me and you, we deserve to be hanging on this cross. We're not good people. We deserve this violent, humiliating excruciating death, we're getting what we deserve. And not just that, not just his own opinion of himself. Imagine the people around him or who are seeing him being executed. They know that this is a bad dude. From what we know about the Romans in history. There, there's a chance that this man was a robber, that he was a thief. But there's also a chance that he may have been a rebel, that he may have tried to lead some kind of uprising against the Roman government, there's a chance he may have been a murderer. Because Romans only use crucifixion for the worst of the worst. They use crucifixion to send a message you do not come against Rome, you do not do this thing that this person did unless you want this violent, terrible, humiliating death. So by all accounts, by all measurements, the thief on the cross was a terrible, terrible person.
But what is he here? Jesus tells him today, you'll be with me in paradise. If you're tracking with me at this moment, you're thinking, what did I miss? Like what? What the heck is going on? Right? Like, what? What is going on? How is this guy good with Jesus? How is this guy on the positive side? But Jesus, whenever the rich young ruler, this man who has been following the law, who sought Jesus out? whenever he's not, what is the measuring stick? What is the measurement for comparison here, the rich young ruler did everything, right? The thief on the cross. The whole reason he even has any contact with Jesus is because of the sin in his life. The only reason he even had a chance to meet Jesus was that he sinned. And he acted out in some terrible way that ended up with him being put on a cross. And somehow this is the one who hears Jesus say, you'll be with me in paradise today. Not only that, Jesus, it seems so inconsistent, doesn't it? Both of these men, if we would reread the scriptures, we would see both of these men are seeking out what they're seeking out eternal life, what's the key to eternal life?
And what is Jesus tell the rich young ruler, keep following all the commands and on top of it, sell everything you have and give it to the poor? So that's the criteria for the rich young ruler, but for the thief on the cross, what's the criteria for eternal life? following all the commands, selling everything he has to support? No. All he says is, Jesus, remember me today? And that's it. It seems wildly inconsistent, doesn't it? If you're reading that you're thinking to yourself, if you have any kind of logical sense to you, you're reading that and you're going, what's the measuring stick here? Like, what is the measuring stick between these two men? There is no comparison. What is Jesus up to? And I'm sure in if Jesus would talk back to us today. What he would be saying to us is, you're wondering what my measuring stick is, I want to know what's yours. Because it sounds to me like you are using the wrong measurement. I'll let you know what measurement I use. I'll let you know what measurement God uses. And this is the measurement. This is what it says in First Samuel 16 seven. The Lord does not look at the things that people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. People look at the outside. The Lord looks at the heart. God says that's what my measuring stick is. You measure all the wrong things. You measure the way people look. You measure the way that they talk. You measure the knowledge that they have, you measure how articulate they are. And because of all that you give them weight because of all that you give them glory, you give them to honor or you think less of them you think they're inferior or you think that about yourself, that is not how I measure. I measure by looking at the heart and you see God's measurement. It's the right measurement. Because when the heart is the measurement the state in the condition of our heart when that's the measurement, what is being measured is something that actually matters. all that other stuff, can I just be frank, it's crap, what of that will last, one of that will last, nothing. But the heart, where we're at in here how we are with God, that is what truly matters.
And God says, I measure what matters, I measure what matters, I measure the heart, that is the correct comparison measurement because that is what matters. That is why Jesus looks so wildly inconsistent between the rich young ruler and the thief on the cross. To one he sets this gigantically high burden, follows every law and the commandments and, and sells everything you haven't given to the poor. that's a that's a lot. He's asking a lot of this guy, but for the thief on the cross, all he says is remember me and Jesus is like, eternal life for you. It seems wildly inconsistent to us because our measuring stick is measuring the wrong stuff. But God, knowing the heart knows this man over here is not really all in, knows this man over here still has his heart tied to something to his possessions, and is not willing to really make Jesus Lord of his life. Whereas the thief on the cross, Jesus knows his heart. He knows where he's at. He's measuring what matters. And so what looks inconsistent to us is perfectly consistent to God. Because he's measuring what matters, not the outward appearance, not knowledge, not skill, not perceived holiness. God measures the heart. And it's the measurement that only God knows. Think about that, that, and that right there.
The fact that God is the only one who truly, truly knows the heart, he's the only one that truly knows the heart. Because of that, this is what that means. It means we need to give the benefit of the doubt, and grace to other people, right, you follow me, we need to give the benefit of the doubt and the grace to other people. Because guess what because you don't know. You don't know their heart, your measuring stick is wrong, you don't know. That means you need to give the benefit of the doubt. And you need to give grace to others because you don't know. And when it comes to comparing yourself, you need to have humility. You need to have complete utter humility. And you need to have gratitude to God because you do know where you're at. You know. So when we look at other people, and we feel the tendency to compare ourselves and make ourselves feel better, and condemn them, we need to give grace, we need to give him the benefit of the doubt because we don't know but man when it comes to ourselves and trying to feel so good about ourselves, and so self-righteous and man, look at how good I'm doing. Man, we need to have humility.
And we need to have gratitude for the love that God has for us in the way he's forgiving us because we know the ways that we have fallen short. And here's one of the important things is as we see that God measures our heart and God looks to our heart because that's what truly matters. And we think like Okay, so that's, that's what I need to compare myself against his is not other people and not other people's assessment, anything like that. But but but my heart and what God's doing in my heart. Okay, well, how do I compare that though? How do I how do I compare? And how do I know that what God's doing in my heart is something that is good and how do I make sure that I'm actually tracking along with how I should be? And that's where this comes into play and I want to make sure if again, as I said, last week, super pastor cliche, but if you hear one thing today, this is the thing I want you to hear how God is moving privately in your life, God will manifest publicly in your life I can promise you that and so knowing that God measures the heart because the hearts what matters and you're thinking okay well I'm trying to build up my heart I'm trying to do the things that I know will give me a healthy heart and will make me you know, a good person on the godly path.
I want to let you know, if you start doing that you start following God you start giving him your heart The thing that matters, what he starts to do when your heart privately will start to manifest itself publicly. We've talked about this not too long ago, a few series go here Cornerstone, the fruit of the Spirit, the fruit, the the the the produce that we see come from our souls when God is alive and at work in us is how it starts to publicly manifest that, hey, look, you are doing something good. You are doing something good. This is the thing that you want to look at and compare yourself against not other people's actions, not what other people say about you, not even what you say about yourself, but how you measure up to the fruit of the Spirit. How you measure up to the matters of the heart because that's what truly matters. The fruit of the Spirit, they manifest themselves again, this is how they are described in the book of Galatians. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. So as you're following God, as you're allowing the Spirit to guide you and walk you through life, those things will start to manifest in you, those things will start to overflow out of you. And those are the things that you should be comparing yourself against. Those are the things that you should be measuring yourself against, not, man, do I line up with what they say I should be doing? Do I line up with what this person says is the best way? No, no? Do I line up with what God says, I should be seeing happen in my life? Am I seeing love be a marker in my life, patience, kindness, gentleness, are these things actually cropping up in my life. And that's what we compare ourselves against.
That's what we measure ourselves against. Because again, that's the only thing that matters. That's it. That's it, the only thing that matters is are we producing the fruit of the Spirit that will let us know if God is at work in our hearts. That's how we'll know if transformation is occurring. Because that's what matters. And that's what God measures. And that's what God wants us to measure ourselves up against. What God measures is what matters. You see, if we use the wrong measurement, we feel inferior. If we use the wrong measurement, if we use the wrong measuring stick, we feel superior. We either feel too good about ourselves, or too bad about ourselves. Think about it, when we use the wrong measurement, we look at the stories of the two men that we looked at today, the rich young ruler and the thief on the cross. And when they use the wrong measurement. We say the rich young ruler is the one who is righteous before God. And we say the thief on the cross is the one who is held bound. That's what happens when we use the wrong measurement. And it makes me think, how often do we do that to people who walk through these doors. We have the wrong measuring stick. And so we see something in their life. And we say yep, hellbound.
That's not what God sees. Because he's using a different measuring stick than we are. We're looking at the outside, he's looking at the heart, we're comparing things that don't really matter. He's comparing what really does matter. So what is our measuring stick, are we the people who would condemn the thief on the cross, but applaud the rich young ruler, when God did the complete opposite. We need to use the right measuring stick. We need to look at the heart, we need to look at our heart. And how we do that is by seeing the fruit of the Spirit manifest in our lives. We see a transformation, we see change, we see God making us more and more into Jesus. tracking the right things matters. Using the right measurement matters. At Cornerstone, we've we have been trying so hard to make sure that we're measuring what matters. Churches for the longest time, the main measurement that they use is Sunday morning attendance, that'll let us know everything we need to know. For our church's healthy, there's not a seated auditorium. If there's plenty of seats, well, we're in a bad spot. Things aren't looking good. That is such a terrible way to measure success. That's such a terrible way to know if your church is truly fulfilling the mission that God has given it. That is not a good metric. It's the wrong metric. It's the wrong measurement for success. And if we were tracking that wrong measurement, just purely Sunday morning attendance, think about the things we would do as a church to try to bump that up. We would sacrifice just about everything to make sure these seats are full. We'd sacrifice our identity our culture, we'd start just preaching things that people want to hear because it makes them feel good. And that's all that matters. Just get in here. Just get in here and sit down because the only metric The only measurement that matters is attendance.
But we're not doing that. We started looking at it. We're like no, no there. There are meaningful measurements here. There are measurements that actually matter that we need to be tracking way ahead of attendance. We need to measure decisions for Jesus people who are actually making the commitment to Jesus. We need to measure MPs ministry partners that sign up people who say hey, I'm not just content to come and attend. I want to come and actually be the church. I want to actually serve and give of my time of my talent of my treasure, we track giving units how many people give to the church because that means people are saying, you know what I trust in God so much, I trusted him so much I am I'm not feeling guilted into giving, I want to give because God has given me so much. And I want to give back until we track those things. And we track those things because those are measurements that matter. Because those are measurements that are attached to the heart, the only thing that matters. So that's what we'll compare ourselves against. That's the measuring stick that we will use. And because of that, because we have the right kind of measurements in place, we're building healthy habits to chase after those. Right? We want decisions for Christ. So you know, that means we preach the gospel, we talked about the life-changing power of Jesus, we do that because we're chasing after the right thing. we're comparing ourselves against the right thing. You're measuring stick matters so much. What are you comparing yourself against? What are you measuring yourself up against? I want to tell you today, measure what matters. measure what matters. compare yourself, not to other people, so you can feel superior, or inferior. compare yourself against what God says, God, what is my heart look like to you? How can I follow you more closely not to gain the approval of the people around me not to look cooler or better to the people around me? I don't care about that prison, I'm not going to be in that prison of comparison anymore. God, the only comparison I care about is how I line up to your will. That's it? What is my heart look like? And I promise you, the moment that the measurement that actually matters, how your heart is doing, the moment that becomes the most important thing in your life, you will see your life change overnight, your demeanor towards people will change your demeanor towards God will change the things that you count as success in your life will change. All of that will change. And it all starts from having the right measuring stick.
I want to pray with you. Let's bow our heads and let's pray together Father God, we thank you that we don't have to be trapped in the prison of comparison, that we don't have to play this game that the rest of the world wants us to play where we compare ourselves and our best and are worth based off of what other people say about us, or based off how good we think we are or how good we think we are in comparison to someone else. God, that game takes us nowhere. It will always lead to us feeling worse than people are better than people. And that is never where we should be. God Your Word tells us the only thing we should compare ourselves to the only measuring stick we should have in life is your words and what you say and what our heart looks like, in light of who you are and what you've done for us. So God helps us today to remember that we are living for an audience of one that we're living for only one measuring stick out there. And that is you. So that anytime we feel tempted to go this way, or that way to try to fill in our life and find our joy in our fulfillment in the comparisons that are around us that we would say no, no, no, I know the only thing that matters, and that's what God says. And we would get back on focus and that we would run the race marked out for us trusting in your grace the whole way. We love you so much. Father, we thank you for the Holy Spirit that you give us that makes all of this possible. We couldn't do it on our own. We can only do it through your power and that's what we're believing in and trusting in today. And every day. We love you so much. Father, we pray all this in your name, amen.
