I first got "saved" in high school because I wanted to go on a mission trip with my youth group. Haha! But I actually got saved in August of this past year with my youngest sister Jordan helping me out. It was the day of the last baptisms, and I felt this wave of comfort come over me, watching everyone else get baptized. I knew I wanted to pursue it, and I was ready to fully accept God into my life again now that I was back home. 

I grew up in the church, and I don't think I ever really took it seriously. The old church I went to made me feel like I needed to be perfect to be baptized. So I always avoided it because I thought I wasn't good enough. I left the church when I graduated high school because I planned on partying in college. I thought I would return when I was ready to settle down with a family because then I would be worthy enough. I got further and further from God as the years went on. I drank heavily for a long time and started abusing drugs as well. I was digging myself deeper and deeper into a hole. I was in a dangerous relationship with a dangerous mindset and an even more dangerous addiction.  

I got sober in 2021 and went to AA. They told me I needed a higher power, so I picked God because I was the most comfortable with that. Slowly, while healing from my addictions and abuse, I trusted God more and more. I finally decided to let him back into my life during a hike to Hanging Lake in the summer of 2021. My head and heart were finally healing; I knew it was because God was caring for me. 

My mom has been a huge influence in my life. I literally don't think I would have survived last year if it wasn't for her. She rushed to my side when I was ready to move home and has been my safe space my whole life. Even when I was pushing her away during my dark years, she was always there waiting for me. She's the true example of Jesus' love for others.

I honestly wouldn't have returned to a church if it wasn't for Cornerstone. I have never in my life experienced love and grace the way I have here. I immediately felt like I was coming home to a family that I had known my whole life. Cornerstone's values shine so brightly. I told Pastor Jacob before I moved back home that it was the first time in my life that I could say that I am proud of my church and what they stand for. I love being in this family. I can't see myself anywhere else.

Jesus has flipped my life a total 180. I used to be my own higher power and would rely on my own silly judgment of things; and it just put me in a darker and darker place. Once I turned my heart and life back over to Jesus, things started getting better. I used to be very quick to anger; no one could tell me what to do. I wanted justice for the smallest things that had nothing to do with me. It was almost impossible to have a conversation with me if you disagreed. Now I know that it's not up to me to get mad; it's not up to me to prove the point or be right all the time. I am supposed to love everyone where they are, and God will do the rest.

Now my family can trust me again, and people think I'm honest; I used to lie a lot because it was my shield from getting hurt. If I didn't tell the truth, people couldn't tell me I was wrong or dumb so I would lie, and those lies would turn on me so fast. Now I say what's happening, and everything turns out even better than I could have imagined. 

If someone asked me why I was getting baptized, I would tell them that this is something that I have wanted to do for a long time, but I never felt like I was good enough for God to get baptized. Now I know that God will meet you where you are, and that's more than good enough for him. He values me even though I am broken and loves me all the same. I was waiting to be good enough for him when all I had to do was love and trust in Him, and he would do the rest. And over the past two years of my life, He has brought me out from rock bottom and has shown me more than I could have ever imagined.

Jesus has blessed me 100 times over since I got sober and turned my life over to him. I can't even explain the stories I've experienced in the past two years. If someone asked me why I was getting baptized, I would tell them that this is something that I have wanted to do for a long time, but I never felt like I was good enough for God to get baptized. Now I know that God will meet you where you are, and that's more than good enough for him. He values me even though I am broken and loves me all the same. I was waiting to be good enough for Him when all I had to do was love and trust in Him, and He would do the rest.

Over the past two years, He has brought me out from my rock bottom and shown me more than I could ever imagine.

Romans 8:18 "The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming" I just keep telling myself that I know that God has something bigger planned for me than I could ever imagine on my own, and the more I trust in him, the more he shows me that He's got me!