In a world where things change minute by minute, one thing is consistent—we’re losing our faith. Every year, the percentage of people identifying as “Christian” drops lower and lower. People just aren’t buying what the Christian faith is selling...maybe you aren’t buying it. Maybe it’s the Church’s treatment of people groups. Maybe it’s your own past trauma. Maybe it’s the injection of politics into the pulpit. Whatever the reason, the Christianity you knew began to crumble, and so did you. But if you’re walking this difficult path, there’s good news—God is not afraid of your deconstruction. In fact, your deconstructing faith could be the doorway to a deeper faith. One richer, stronger, and more profound than you could ever imagine.

Research in the mid-2010’s asked people to use word association with the word “Christian.” The main responses? “Bigoted”, “judgmental”, “hypocritical.” Yikes. It seems the biggest obstacle to the Church has been the Church. It’s true there are plenty of wonderful Christians, but it’s also true that many professing the name of Jesus have hurt untold amounts of people. So how do we process and move past the hurts and damaged witness of the Church itself?

It's good to see everybody any moms in the house. Raise those hands right up any moms online. Can we honor you real quick, Happy Mother's Day. Honor all the incredible moms in here. I've got two incredible moms in my life. I've got my kids, mom, Jessica, my wife, and I've got my mom, Brenda so thankful for them. And I want to take a moment to honor them. And in true pastor Jacob fashion, I'm going to my brother-in-law saying he's here too, but I'm not going to rise on you today saying you get a pass here. I am going to rise on my wife and on my mom Real quick though because they say they say that you like it if your parents do it right? You kind of marry you like marry your mom, you marry your dad, right? And in a lot of ways. I've married my mom like I have I've married my mom and so on Mother's Day. It's kind of funny seeing the similarities between the two of them.

One of the biggest similarities is their forgetfulness. Any forgetful people out there, I know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm torpedoing. Sandy, my mother-in-law is going to be the only one that's going to be okay with me today. My wife and my mom are going to talk to me. And we'll just have to hang out Sandy.

They are forgetful. And I gotta tease them a little bit. It's like whenever you have a crush on someone and you're young, that's how you show that you love them. You tease them right? That you like them. So I'm gonna tease them a little bit today. They're forgetful. So let me show you how my wife is forgetful. We go through about four debit cards of hers every year right about four of them. So the other night we're playing charades me. Jessica and my cousin Jennifer and my two girls Eaton and Evan were playing charades. Evelyn accidentally dropped a card on the ground and charades card it falls under the couch and Evelyn hops down we turn on the light she's looking for it and we're all talking she's kind of reaching her arm under it Evelyn goes I found something pulls out a debit card the debit card that Jessica had lost right pulls this thing out Jessica's face her and she's like oh my gosh is handed to me and like puts it down to like I completely forgot like it must have had it in my pocket and it fell out and then went under the couch and completely forget about it. And we're like, oh yeah, just kind of we're asking her a little bit. Evelyn hops back under the couch and is looking for the card. About 10 seconds pass. Evelyn yells I found another one kid, you're not another card in the same play.

Unbelievable. Jessica, her face got even better. Even more. She's like Evelyn, if you find anything else, leave it under the couch. Pull nothing else. I don't even want to know what could be coming next. So that's it's right. That's something that I love about Jessica it's a cute little quirk of Jessica's that my mom has, as well my mom is forgetful. Now my mom years ago.

You know, this is probably whenever she was 50 something like that probably about 50 or so. We're sitting down for a family dinner. She's sharing with everybody how she's trying to make sure that she stays on her health. You know, as she's getting older, she's want to make sure hey, I want to make sure I live as long as I can live. So I'm trying to save for my health and reading articles. I actually just read an article. That was the seven signs that you have Alzheimer's or dementia and the good thing is I don't have any of them. And we're like Mom, that's wonderful. It's well that's good news. My sister Rachel goes What were they like what were the signs? Kid you, not you already know where it's going kid you, not my mom says I can't remember. But right but that's not a good sign. Like I don't have to tell you that that's not a good sign. Like holy cow.

Now you may be wondering, why are we talking about forgetfulness? Because it is funny how we can you know, all of us from one degree to another can struggle with forgetfulness. We can remember some things. Forget some other things. I want to see how many people are in here. Remember this. If you have forgetfulness here if you remember, who remembers using these landline phones? Oh, I see a lot of younger people in here who like what is this strange and mysterious artifact? What? What is this? Do you get that from the Smithsonian? Like right? Now I didn't I didn't roll with this kind of landline phone. But I do remember landline phones, right? I haven't forgotten them. Like I remember these. And it's fun to remember some of the little quirks and little quirks about things like landline phones. I remember it being like Russian roulette answering these bad boys before caller ID you just had no clue who was calling them. Right? It could be a one-minute conversation or you could be on the phone for two hours. Right? Like you had no idea who's calling in. Another fun thing with landlines was that you had to have like a separate answering machine. Right like an actual machine. It's just answered for you. Right and my dad is the just complete moron that he was and I love this about it. This will explain a lot about me. My dad made a my dad recorded an answering machine message that he thought was so witty and clever. He would tell people to call our house and specifically tell us not to answer it. Right? Like let it go to the machine, let the machine get it because he wanted people to hear his little joke I can remember to this day. This is what our answering machine message would go to it and then he would just say, spring is sprung. Fall has fallen. We're not home. But thanks for calling.

Genius, right and he thought it was genius. He's like, this is so good. This is so perfect. So I remember those. I remember AOL, right whenever the internet started becoming a bigger thing, like having to like unplug your phone and plug your computer into the phone line and telling people like you need to get off I need to check my mail. Right like just the weird things about landlines. But one thing I do miss about landlines is they were a truth-teller. These things were truth-teller, let me explain with a landline. So you have like a meal coming up at like, you know, somewhere to strip with a landline. You could call the person if you're supposed to meet at seven at 715. There, you could call the person and if they picked up, you knew they were lying through their teeth. If they're like, I'm on my way. I'm on the way like I'm on 77 Like, no, you ain't.

I called your landline and you picked up and unless you grabbed a cordless and that thing has incredible reception. You are lying to me because you're at home. That's the whole point of the landline is tethered to a location, right? It's tethered to a location. Now, that whole idea of it being tethered to location actually is the like plot device that kicks off one of my favorite horror movies. You guys know if you've attended here for any amount of time. I'm a pastor who likes scary movies. And the whole plot of the movie when a stranger call revolves around a landline, right? Because it's babysitters. She's watching kids, it's a typical horror movie setup. She's watching These Kids start getting these threatening, menacing calls. She's like, had enough of it. She's terrified. So she calls the police and tells them to trace the number that's on the other line with me trace and see where they're calling. Do you remember? Do you remember that big moment when the call comes through? And she's there? And she's like, Hello? Yes. Where? Where's the call? Where's the call? Who is it? And the police tell her what did they tell her?

The call is coming from inside the house. If they're inside the house, right? It's terrifying. It's scary. It's creepy. It's you know, it's all the things that make you feel goosebumps. Now, why are we talking about this? Why are we talking about landlines on the call coming from inside the house? I want to read to you from Matthew chapter seven verses one through five. And then I want to explain this a little bit. Listen to what Jesus says as he's teaching. He says Do not judge others and you will not be judged, for you will be treated as you treat others the standard you use, and judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye. When you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite. First, get rid of the log in your own eye, then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends I see in this series, we're talking about help.

I am losing my religion, people who are deconstructing people who are doubting people who are falling away from the faith. Last week, this week, we were going to be talking about the biggest drivers for deconstruction, the biggest thing that drives people to walk away or lose faith. Last week we talked about the idea that the Old Testament in particular Scripture is actually one of the biggest drivers for people that they have such a hard time reconciling the things that they see in Scripture with the reality and they just have a lot of questions. This week, the second big driver of deconstruction it's us, christians, people who claim to follow Jesus, are one of the biggest reasons people are losing their faith.

The pre-Pew Research Center did a poll back and I think about it in 2016 2017, something like that asking people across the country. What's the first word that comes to mind when you think of Christians, and I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. The top three were hypocrisy, judgmental, and bigots. Top three of what people think about us so what I'm wanting us to talk about today I want us to focus on today is we are so concerned as a church about what the world is doing to our kids. All of it is what the world is doing. Look at what the world is trying to do to us into our kids and to my family, look at what the world is trying to do. I would like to wager all of us today that the biggest threat to us to our faith is us.

The call is coming from inside the house. We're constantly looking for murderers and killers everywhere else but in their own our own house. And what I am saying today, and what I believe I'm going to show as we walk through Scripture today, is that the biggest reason that we see people fleeing from the faith has nothing to do with the world. And it has everything to do with our witness has everything to do with the way that we live out what we should be living out. The call is coming from inside the house. Let me tell you, that is not how it should be cornerstone. And that's how it's not going to be here. I believe we're already doing such a good job at this. But man, I want us to make sure we never deviate from this if people I want people if they were to do a poll of Cornerstone Church, just cornerstone and ask people what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of Christians? I will take it all day long. If they say crazy, illogical nuts.

I can be like yeah, okay, I can sign off on those little nuts, little crazy some of the stuff we believe. Sounds kind of weird, right? Sounds kind of weird. You can say that about us all day long become hell or high water, you're gonna say we're unloving. You're never going to be able to say that that will never be one of the top three words that you use, you will never be able to say judgmental or hypocrite you won't be able to say those words about Cornerstone Church. So you'll be able to question our logic, but you will never be able to question our love. That's where we need to be not just as Cornerstone Church, but as the church. Now, two things I want to say as we dive in today, first off, hashtag not all Christians, right? Hashtag, not all churches. I'm fully aware of that. There are incredible churches out there with incredible Christians who are doing amazing, amazing work, reaching people for Jesus. So no, I'm not saying everybody is bad. Of course, that's not the case. But we do need to talk about the bad instances that we see because there are plenty. And then the second thing I want to mention as we started today, normally, normally, whenever I preach, I try to make my sermons be an all skate. Like they're applicable for everybody. If you're a believer, if you're an unbeliever, it's gonna hit you. Today. I believe that to be the case. But I want to just say from the onset, that I am specifically focusing on Christians today, for like the first two-thirds of today's sermon, if you are someone who claims Jesus Christ, this is specifically for you. And I am not preaching at you today. I am talking with you today because I'm in on it. This is me too. This is not me preaching at you. This is a reminder that all of us need that we're going to get from God's Word today. And it's a reminder that I believe we need because sometimes we can, we can forget who we are and where we're from. We can just forget it. If you're like me, and you've ever had periods in your, in your life where you're losing weight, isn't that first day of a diet just magical, isn't it like it's by far the best day of the diet is day one. You're the most motivated. You're like I'm eating Special K in the morning, I'm doing a salad for lunch, I'm doing the plain chicken breasts for dinner. And you just feel like fitness is my lifestyle like this is by the time the day is over. You gotta walk in, you're feeling up here, right? And so you get on social media, and you're kind of scrolling through and you're looking at some of your friend's posts. And you see where they went to dinner that night. And you see the dish that they were eating and write it because you've been so good all day, you who just yesterday, were eating 4000 calories of pizza and doughnuts and everything like that. Suddenly, today, less than 24 hours into your diet. You're looking at pictures of your friend's meals and going to wonder if they know how many calories are in them.

Well, I guess not everyone can have fitness be such a priority as myself, I guess it's just the burden I have to bear. Right? We can so quickly start putting ourselves up here. And you know what's incredible is that first crashing back down to earth moment. Whenever you're getting ready for bed. Just take your shirt off getting ready for bed. You walk by the mirror, and you see yourself and you're like yep, never mind. All of the pride that has been built up through the day. Boom down like it's gone now. Right? You instantly have that humbling moment where you're like, oh, yeah, that's right. That's where I'm at right now. I haven't been doing this for a long time. This is actually where I'm at. Do you know what Scripture describes itself as in the book of James?

A mirror, a mirror, something that we can look at, we can look at and realize wow, I need to fix this. Wow, that's not as good as I actually thought that it was wow, this is an area where I am way too proud and I need to check me so we're gonna look at scripture today, we're gonna get that reminder that we need that reminder of humility. Because let me tell you, that is why church hurt exists. A lack of humility, when humility is absent, hurt will be present.

When humility is absent, hurt will be present, I am so thankful for our church that I can say with confidence, that we are doing a great job at this. In so many ways. Cornerstone is an intake center. We are a hospital for people who have been hurt by other organizations by people who claim Jesus and may even mean really well. But I've just hurt, just hurt people. And I love the fact that we are a receiving center for these people. It's both a thing that brings me great pride and great heartbreak, that that's what we are known as a place where people can come and heal from hurt because of teaching that they've endured that has told them to hate or to marginalize certain people of places where they were told, Hey, welcome home. Oh, wait, what now? No, you can't actually volunteer and you're not really like a member of the church, you're kind of out there. Just clean yourself up, then you can come to a place that says, hey, no, your doubts actually aren't totally welcome here. You kind of just need to believe what we believe. And if you don't buy-in, I don't know what to tell you maybe find another place.

All of these things I've just said. Can I tell you they're not theoretical or hypothetical there actual. We have numerous people here. Numerous people watching online right now who these aren't like, Well, yeah, maybe at one church here. There are no people in this room who've experienced those things. those exact things. This isn't hypothetical, this is actually people being hurt.

Now, as I mentioned earlier, these two things can be true. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. Yes, there are churches out there that incredibly help people. But we have to admit that there are churches out there that have immensely hurt people, and Christians that have immensely hurt people. What do we think we're doing by trying to save our pride by acting like, oh, well, those people took it too far. And there they took it the wrong way. And churches don't actually hurt people. Yes, they do. Yes, Christians do hurt people. And honestly, if we don't have the humility to understand that and to admit that we as a church will start to hurt more people than we help. It all starts it's all grounded in humility. If we're not careful, we will start to find out that the call is coming from inside the house. So let's get some humility today. And we get that by going to God's word I want us to work back through Matthew chapter seven, those first five verses that we just read. Let me read verses one and two to you. One more time, Jesus says Do not judge others and you will not be judged for you will be treated man this should be such a wake-up call to us for you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. If that doesn't send a shiver up your spine. I don't know what will. Because here's what I know if you're anything like me, you stink at setting standards.

You stink at it. Because if you're anything like me your natural default this is your standard grace for me. Truth For The I'm gonna give myself Grace all day long because I know my circumstances I know what I'm going through. You don't understand. God gives his toughest battles to warriors like me, right? Like I'm, I'm going through it. But these people out here, man, someone needs to correct them. Someone needs to tell them the truth about what they're doing, right? We stink at setting standards every notice. This is just true. Ever notice how the most hated sins are never yours.

Right? All the sins that are out abomination before the Lord and the Lord detest this. They're never yours. It's the other people's. But you know, greed is more of a thing that God's kind of like, whatever. Gossip God God understands gossip to a little degree but this sin Ooh, man, God does not like that.

Let me give you an actual real-world example of this of how we think we're standing up for the word we're being faithful to the Word we need more Christians to be faithful to the Word. Let me show you how real-life example of how people who say that actually backtrack on it. Because we're just so inconsistent and we stink with our standards. 1900 to 1970, the divorce rate in the United States was about 25%. It's pretty low considering 25%. Of course, you'd have a year here and a year there where it would be a little bit higher, a little bit slower, but pretty much 70 straight years of 25% and then all of a sudden in the 70s and 80s boom, it took off, it doubled.

By the 90s. It was around 50 to 53%. Now it's come back down in more recent years. But think about that. 52 to 53%. Now, this is what's so interesting about it back when not a lot of people were having them, and mostly the people who are having them were outside of the church. Guess what kind of sermons you heard about divorce?

Hell and brim fire, right? Divorce is the worst and it's terrible. And our society is destroying marriage. And it's just a testable. It's an abomination before Lord, it's awful. That's the kind of sermons you heard. Now, I'm not saying divorce is great, right? I mean, it's very clear as you read scripture that God wants people to join together in marriage and stay married. That's, that's pretty clear in Scripture. But you would hear sermons completely full of truth, with little to no grace. But as soon as things started to turn and 1970, suddenly, the people getting divorced aren't the evil world but my congregants, my friends, me, the pastor, as soon as it's people that I know, and it's people that I love, and suddenly I have context and I know who they are. And I know the story. Guess what the sermon started to focus on a little bit more. Grace. Isn't that funny? What a coincidence, huh?

God's word changed. No. But we do. We change all the time because we stink at setting standards. We're just terrible at it. We try to give ourselves all of the grace and other people all of the truth even think about how we talk about it. Right? We talked about other people and we'll say they're living in sin all but they're living in sin. That's different. They're living in they're living in it. Oh me. My gossip, my greed, my gluttony that's a struggle. Struggling I'm struggling against it, right? We're making it sound like other people just living in sin fest every day. I can't wait to wake up and sin today. But us man we're fighting every day and the devil is coming at us. And we're like, God, please help me I'm struggling. We use euphemisms like this to make ourselves feel better because we're so inconsistent. We stink at setting standards. That's why we need this reminder. We need this mirror to look at and see Jesus's words. And you know what Jesus tells us what we just read Matthew seven, Jesus is telling us you don't see as clearly as you think you do. In fact, I'm gonna ask let's just say that together so we can just declare this truth that I don't see as clearly as I think I see.

Because you don't and neither do I. You just don't you think you have such a good view of what other people's issues are? And you don't have an idea of what's going on there? You just don't. And neither do I. My mom years ago got my aunt Jeanne a gift for Christmas. I shared this before she got her gift for Christmas a sign with hanging letters that said Noel and O E l gave it to my aunt Jeanne mangy, he's looking at holding it up. You know, it's right there. And she's like, Brenda, this is beautiful, but she's looking at it kind of confused. She's like, This is gorgeous. But um, who's Leon? And Jeanne was reading it backward, not n o e l l e on, right? So like what in the world?

To my aunt Jeanne. In that moment? She's looking at my mom thinking this lady's nuts like who in the world is Leon? Why would I hang on? I'm gonna hang this up in my house. My aunt Jeanne was so certain. She was seeing it right. She was so certain that she had a clearer picture of what was going on. And she was completely incorrect. We stink at setting standards. And since that's the case, because we don't see as clearly as we think we see if that is true, which it is we see Jesus affirm that truth we don't see as clearly as we think we do. That means this means that that thing that we hear all the time in the church world and in Christianity, love the sinner hate the sin, that we need to trash that idea because that is a garbage idea. What we need to do is love the sinner, and hate our sin.

Love the sinner love everyone you encounter in hate your sin. Again, don't take my word for it. Listen to Jesus, Matthew seven, three, and why worry about a speck in your friends. I wouldn't you gotta log in on your own. How can you think of saying to your friend let me get rid of that speck in your eye when you can't see past the log in your own eye. You see, we don't see clearly. We don't see clearly that means we need to love the centers and hate our own sin because the only sin I see clearly is mine. That's it, the only sin that I truly know is my own sin.

Now, I want you to understand this today, I don't want you leaving here posted on Facebook. Pastor Jacob said, no one can ever judge me. We're not supposed to judge at all. Not what I'm saying, like you are supposed to judge scripture in, in this same section of verses in Matthew seven just a little bit later, Matthew or Jesus tells us he says, Hey, you judge a tree by the fruit that it produces. Like you're, we're supposed to do that like we're supposed to be able to judge. But there's such a key distinction here. And that's what we're talking about today. We can judge our actions, not intentions. We can never judge intent, we just can't. Because we only know a fraction. So that means all that we can ever actually see. And to a degree, even judge is someone's actions. And that's imperfect. It's not totally clear, we can't really get a good picture of what's going on there. That's why the only person's sin in the entire world that we can judge both action and intention is our own. By the way, can I just say if you're anything like me, hating your own sin should be a full-time job.

We act like it's part-time or like 10 hours a week. But let me focus the rest of my time on correcting every person that I encounter around here and telling them what's up and giving them a piece of my mind. If you're anything like me, killing the sin in your life, and mastering the sin in your life is a 40-hour week job with overtime available, right? Like, if you're anything like most people I've ever met, it's a full-time job.

And it's the only sin that you really know. I know me, I don't know what other people are going through. We talk about this story all the time. And it's because it's so pertinent and relevant. The rich young ruler, and the thief on the cross are these two people in Scripture who seem so diametric diametrically opposed to each other. The rich young ruler is this man who Jesus encounters who has been keeping all of the 10 commandments and she was young, just this incredible guy. All of us would laud Him would say, hey, this dude needs to be a disciple. This guy's got it going on. He's got it all together. And Jesus, he misses Jesus, this guy who all of us would say, from what I see, this dude's got it, and the thief on the cross, in humility, this guy who was crucified because of the things that he did, he finds Jesus. And we clearly would condemn the one and praise the other. So again, how clearly are we actually seeing things? It's almost like God knew what he was talking about and what he said in First Samuel 16. You guys look at the outside appearance, I don't. All you see is action. All you see is appearance, I see the intention. I see the heart, I see the perfect person perfectly, you do not see them. We just we don't see clear and because we don't see clear, that's why the sermons you hear preached at Cornerstone as much as possible, Pastor Brenda, Pastor Donnie, myself, we are going to preach sermons that just point to Jesus, we just point to Jesus, and we clear the way to the cross. Because guess what part of my job description is not to convict you.

That is not a pastor's job in his congregation's life. It's already filled. That position has been filled. When Jesus talks about the job description and the tasks that the Holy Spirit will be doing. One of the top ones is that He will convict the world of sin and truth. So I have to wonder, whenever we feel like we have to be the one constantly convicting the world of sin, and truth. Do we actually, do we actually believe this? I know that's usually the hardliners who are the ones wanting to convict of sin and truth. And I have to wonder, do you truly believe scripture? Because if you do, God is handling that. If you truly believe scripture, that's the Holy Spirit's job is to convict the world of sin and truth, not your pastors. You see, we can't we can't even that whole idea of love the sinner hates their sin. We can't.

We can't do it. There's not a human life who can perfectly do that. Who can say, Yep, I'm going to love the sinner, but somehow I'm able to separate them from the sin that they're committing and hate that totally but love them. Totally. We can't do it. Only God can do that. Because only God sees action and sees intention perfectly. We don't. Do you want to know that's why Jesus this is accounted for in all four gospel accounts of Jesus cleansing the temple. It's the one time that Jesus ever seen like, whoa, this dude's lit. These dudes live it the only time we see that in the gospels, and it's in all four Gospels. But guess what? Jesus cleanses the temple by himself. Jesus, who includes his disciples in literal every other thing that he does in ministry, He sends them out and gives them the power to cast out demons.

He sends them out to heal people. He sends them out to do these incredible miraculous things. But the one thing that Jesus likes not to grab a seat, you don't get to do this is the holy, righteous anger. The convicting the now this is wrong, this is wrong. It's the one time he sidelined his disciples. So why are we so quick to say, Hey, can I grab a whip? Can I get it on this guy flipped some tables, too. we have no business doing it? None. There's a reason Jesus never included his disciples in it. And he doesn't include us in it. So in layman's terms, can I kindly tell all of us today, myself included? worry bout yourself.

Worry about yourself. Just worry about yourself. I'm not saying that if you see someone going down a wrong path, I'm not saying if your kid is going the wrong path or if your spouse, I'm not saying you just well, you know, Pastor Jacob just said, Let him go. I'm not saying that. But what I'm saying is worry about yourself. You cannot help anyone well until you help yourself, well, you cannot do it until you truly help yourself. You can't help anybody. Again, don't take my word for it. Jesus, Matthew seven five says, You hypocrite. First, get rid of the log in your own eye, then you will see well enough to deal with the speck. And your friends I one thing I just want to point out from this, too, because it's so important. Notice what Jesus says. He says, first get rid of the log in your own eye, then you will see clearly, he doesn't say so you will see clearly. It's a very important difference in words. A lot of us want it to say so, again, let me get the stuff out of my life so that I can correct you. So I can correct you and feel good about it. Because I'm up here now right? Because I'm back up here I'm feeling puffed up and now I can correct you Jesus thing. No, no, you don't get it right yourself. So you can go fix other people. You get right yourself because that is the reward in and of itself. You getting right. You being right with me you pursuing holiness for yourself.

Do you see I? If you are if you're someone who you've been waiting for me to teach on parenting, right, I've been pastor here since mid to late August of 2020. I've been the lead pastor, and I haven't done a parenting series yet. And you're like, oh, man, I can't wait for whatever they announced a parenting series. Can I tell you don't hold your breath? Don't hold your breath. Do you want to know why? Because I need to watch a few parenting series. I need to be teaching I need to be watching them. I'm still learning. I got an eight, a five, and a two-year-old. Right? Like, it's I'm still learning.

I'm still figuring it out. I can't really help somebody until I help myself. I just can't. How silly would it be for me to be up here and be like, Oh, yes. Let's turn in our Bible so I can crack an egg and knowledge on all of your heads because I am such a genius at parenting. Let me give you my wisdom as my kids are acting a fool back and Cornerstone kids. Wouldn't that just be ridiculous, right? I'm not preaching the parenting series for a while. I don't know when. Because I still need help. We can't help anybody well until we help ourselves. That's why our groups that we have like grief share and divorce care are so powerful. Because these are people who have been through this stuff and helped themselves by partnering with God by learning about grief in a healthy way by dealing with loss in a healthy way. They've gone through this. And now because they have helped themselves. They're able to actually help other people. Can you imagine how terrible would be if we took people who were in the middle of their hurt and who haven't been helped by God? And we just thrust them in and said, Hey, lead this group. Are you kidding? Talking about now practice, right?

And again, this stuff? This is not theoretical or hypothetical. I see this stuff happen all the time. And it happens to people with really good intentions, right? We want to help the world. We want to help the world we want to reach out and showman there are so many people who are lost and we want to help them I get that but man with the issues with the church hurt that churches have caused, you know the world saying they're like, yeah, no, we're good. Thanks. Looks like you guys could do some help though. If I'm just being honest, like, looks like you guys could maybe use a little bit of the own help that you're trying to offer to me. Let me give you an example of this real quick and this is not a condemnation. I used to say things like this so if you've ever said this before, please don't feel like I'm condemning you today. I'm not but this is what it looks like when someone tries to help before they've been helped themselves. I've seen this happen pastor Brenda has seen this happen when been at a funeral. A young mother 30 years old dies of an overdose and leaves a 10-year-old behind. The little girl just completely out really distraught, and has lost her mom. And a well-meaning. I'm not saying these people are mal intent or anything like that, but a well-meaning Christian, who isn't very far along and knowing Truth comes along and tries to encourage the person but says something so harmful, says the little 10-year-old girl, sweetie, hey, don't be sad, don't be sad. Do you want to know why?

Your daddy, your mommy, they're not here. And they're not here for this reason, because God needed another angel. Guy just needs another angel. So he just took your mommy home, took your daddy home.

They think they're helping. But because they haven't helped themselves, they haven't grown in their knowledge of faith. All they're doing is creating in this little girl's mind, the most terrible, awful God you can imagine. A God who is so obsessed with himself, that he takes a 30-year-old mom because he needs one more voice and his angelic choir to sing him praises more than this little girl needs a mom.

Do you get what I mean? If we do not help ourselves, we can't help anybody. We hurt people. I and my wife know of a family who's gone through stuff like this. They've lost to a one-year-old. And they've had people try to give them very Christian answers for why this happened. And they can't reconcile it. They can't understand it. They can't grapple with it. We help nobody well until we help ourselves. So what that means is if you are a Christian, you're a Christ-follower. As I said, I'm trying to talk to the Christians for the first whole part of the sermon. If you are a Christ-follower, if you're a Christian, what that means is, and I know Jesus, full of grace, full of truth, and that's our aim. That's our goal. That's where we want to be to we want to be full of grace and full truth. But can I tell you if you're a Christian, and you still feel like oh, whenever it comes to my knowledge and my grasp of Scripture, and of God, it's still lacking in some areas, can I tell you, you always lead with grace, then just default to it always lead with grace. And this is why so important. Grace is something that's just given.

It's just been given to us. You did nothing to earn it. You didn't take an exam and pass it to get it. You didn't study to get grace. You asked Jesus for it, and he gives it to you. That's it. It's that clean. And that's how it's supposed to be with you and other people. You just give it because it's been given to you. It takes no skill, to have grace, it takes no knowledge to have grace, you just give a gift that you have been given. That is it. That's why you lead with grace because the truth is not just given. We meet truth, we meet Jesus. And then we get to know the truth by growing in truth. You don't know everything about faith, the second you receive grace, you don't know all the truth. The second you receive grace, you've met truth, and truth has given you grace, but you need to grow in truth. You need to figure out the truth. You need to read Scripture and spend time in prayer and spend time and community to find out what truth is. So that's why you don't lead with truth. Because quite frankly, you may not know the truth. And you say something like God needed another angel and you hurt people instead of helping people lead with grace, lead with grace.

Now, I'm going to include the non-Christians in this last little part, if you've been listening, I sure hope you have right otherwise, you're probably incredibly bored right now. But in this last little bit, I don't want to just speak to Christians, I want to speak to non-Christians, as well. And what I want us to look at is an admission that all Christians should be able to affirm. And this is the truth about us. So if you're in the room and you're a non-Christian, or a doubter, or someone who's deconstructing, or maybe you put on a really good face, and all of us would just assume you're Christian, but really, you're having some doubts. You've heard of the church, hurt, your friends have been hurt by the church, and it's just throwing you off. This is the truth of the matter that all of us who claim the name of Jesus should be able to admit about our own condition or own say, listen to what the Apostle Paul says in Romans seven starting verse 21. I've discovered this principle of life. And when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God's law with all my heart but there is another power within me that is at war with my mind.

This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am. Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin, and death.

This admission from Paul is something all Christians should be able to say to the world. We are not as good as we like to think we are except for the moms you guys are perfect right have your mother's day or you guys are perfect. But can I just say we're not as good as we'd like to think that we are we're just we're not it's incredible what a little bit of time and a little bit of pride we'll do in our hearts puff us up to make us think we're better than we are making us forget where we were when God found us right? Makes me think of my parents who had these dogs sin and Spike little shimmy E-News. They looked like little foxes. Cena was the girl dog muscular always boss little scrawny guy around just completely worked him over and beat him around. And the only time that spike would ever X dominant, whatever I turned her was whenever I picked him up. If I picked him up around Cena, suddenly this little frail dog that's like, you know, suddenly he would start showing his teeth acting all rough and tough, right? Because I was holding him he got a little bit away from the situation. And suddenly he was looking at me Don't mess with me. And what I want to say is I believe we do the same thing.

We forget where we were when Jesus found us and picked us up and we get a little bit high we get a little bit far from the situation and we are now growling at the world. Okay, you people look at what you're trying to do to my family what you're trying to do my kids Oh, this perverse, terrible world, this world just trying to steal all of us. We're just growling at everybody. And sometimes it takes us being sat back down to go oh, shoot, that's me. I'm a part of all this like I'm not good on my own. I'm not wonderful on my own. I'm not righteous on my own.

Some of us need to remember where we were when Jesus found us. And can I say still finds us? Who are you kidding? To act like yeah, I remember where I was when Jesus found me back there. But look at how great I am now. It's been straight and narrow ever since. Come on, man. He's still finding you. He's still finding you. As we talked about a few weeks ago. Maybe it's not on the marshmallow path anymore. Maybe it's on the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup path now, right? But you got your flavor a sin and you like it. He's still finding you. We need to remember where we were. And we need to remember the truth that yes, the world needs Jesus. And the church needs Jesus. We need Jesus. The last thing I want to say is again, this is what Paul just wrote, Romans 724 What a miserable person I am who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death. Those words are written by a man Paul's conversion to Jesus was around 33 to 35 ad the book of Romans was written around 55 to 57 ad. These words are written by a man who's had 20 years of faithful service to Jesus 20 years of starting churches all over the Mediterranean rim of being beaten for Jesus whipped for Jesus stoned for Jesus nearly killed for Jesus shipwrecked for Jesus. And Paul is saying, I'm a miserable person. Apart from Jesus, there just isn't. There's nothing good in me apart from him. Who can save me from this life that seems so dedicated to sin. That's Paul saying it not someone who is foreign to the faith. What this shows is that we still need Jesus, no matter how far down the road you are, you need him. You need him. I need him.

I'm gonna ask the worship team if they would come back up on stage as they do. I just want to share one last story with you guys. My grandpa Mason, James Mason, is one of the most amazing men you'll ever meet just an incredible, incredible guy. He lived to be 96 Shocking, like, that's just that's nuts. Right? Live to be 96. As he's getting close to the end of his life. My mom was visiting him really often. One of the times that she went and met with him, he said something that was just very unexpected for someone who's 96 years old to say. And this is someone who you know, He's been following Jesus most of his life. He's a pastor.

Just an awesome guy. And again, he's 96 but as you started with my mom, he said, You know what, Brenda, I just I really wish I could talk to my dad. The things I'm going through getting ready to pass to the other side and go to heaven. I just, I so wish I could talk to him right now.

In still needs to talk to his dad. I don't care how far down the faith journey you are. In fact, the farther down you are, the more you need to talk to your dad. We still need him. Don't think for a second that you've been so puffed up that you've been away from it for so long that man I'm up here now and I can I see so clearly now I see your sin and I see your sin who me and I'm I'm up here and everyone else. We need him. We need him we all need to come to the altar to humbly kneel and say, Jesus, I need you. I need you on my own. I'm nothing on your own. On my own. I am devoted to sin without you. I need your help. And when we do that, when we humble ourselves I can promise you will.

We will be people who help not her. Heavenly Father, we thank you for the example of Jesus, we thank you for the example of his humility help us to model that and everything we do, to model his humble servanthood,
to come to the altar and admit the areas that we have been wrong, that we have thought too highly of ourselves and forgotten where we were when you picked us up and offered us new life help us to never, ever, ever forget that as we deal with the people around us, leading with your grace and pushing them towards you the truth. We love you. We pray this in Your name, amen.