The Book of Esther is one of only two works in Scripture that never mentions God. In fact, there doesn’t appear to be a single recorded miracle in the book—no moment where God steps into the narrative to save the day. That makes Esther one of the most relatable books in the biblical canon. Chances are, you’ve had moments in your life when God seemed to disappear from your story—and just when you need him the most. But just as Esther discovered, God’s sovereignty doesn’t take a single day off of work. And in the midst of the supposed silence, God is conducting a symphony in your life. All you have to do? Trust Him.

Here’s a thought—maybe God is “silent” because he’s waiting for you to speak? Maybe God is “still” because he’s waiting for you to act? God wants what we want...for His goodness and mercy to show up in our life in apparent ways. But for His goodness and mercy to follow us, we have to go where He leads, even if it takes us through the valley of the shadow of death.

Over 30 years ago, when we just had two children, just Rachel and Zachary, we traveled back to my grandparent's home in Pennsylvania, for a little trip. And we had a camper, one of those little pop-up campers that we borrowed to go out there. My grandparents live way, way out in the woods, way out there. And it was so dark. It was so dark. No one was outside but us and the way we were it was a very small little pop-up. There were little beds on the side and, and Charlie took Zachary and I took Rachel and we slept there and kind of kept them calm down because they were scared of the dark. And it was so quiet out there and so dark, the only thing you can see were a few stars. And the only thing that you could hear was nighttime sounds and you know, we wax eloquent about nighttime sounds. They don't sound so great when you're scared, you know, they just don't sound so great. And it was about two o'clock in the morning, I suppose I didn't have a watch that would light up or anything like that. But it was some time we'd been in bed for a long time I slept breasts asleep and woke back up and you know, in and out. And that's the way it was for a while. And I was so lonely.

I was in a tent with three other people. But I was lonely. I felt like I was all alone in the plant on the planet. And I didn't want to make any noise because who wants to wake up a couple of kids and have them afraid? Have you ever been like that? You're with people, but you feel very, very alone.

For some reason, in this little camper. I just stretched my hand out, just in case.

 Charlie had stretched him out to and our hands met in the middle of the tent with a class that took away my loneliness. It was wonderful. The dark hadn't changed. The sounds hadn't changed. But I knew there was someone out there with me. I think that has been the effect of these last two weeks of services for many of us. Because we've been in the dark. We've been where God seems silent. And it's been a great encouragement to find out. We're not alone. We're not alone, God works. We have this in common that he is with us. Now this morning, we're gonna think about something that at the first thought might feel really comforting. And then when we get in a little bit, it may not feel quite so comforting. But I want you to hang with me. Because here's the thought we need to consider this morning. Do you think God is silent?

Maybe he thinks you're silent.

Maybe he's waiting on you. Pray with me real quick. Jesus, we've talked to you a lot this morning. And we're so grateful we always have that opportunity. Right now. I asked you right now at this moment, to help us be so clear in our openness to you that you can say whatever you want to say to us, and we'll hear it. Amen. Pastor Jacobs has been bringing us up to speed every bit week a little bit on this story. And I want to tell you, I hope many of you are like my friend, Gary ham Gardner over here was so excited. He told me last week he said the message got me pumped. I had to get in there and read a little bit more about Esther, I hope that you'll do that. I'm gonna assign it to you before it's over. This is a great story, one that will help you. And one of the things we found out as we've heard, Jacob, tell us about it there. It was a roller coaster, things look good. And then they looked bad. It looked like the king was in favor of them. And then he wasn't and, and you know what it is? You know what that's like in your own life. You have someone in the hospital, I have a friend, a childhood friend who right now has COVID very, very badly. And I get several texts today from her sister, another childhood friend. And the text in the morning will say we saw some improvement. It's looking good. And then in the afternoon, it's bad again, you've been through that right? It's good, and then they're not good. And then they're not. We just want some solid answers. That's exactly the way it was for Esther. Esther was there. She had been a captive for a very long time. So she was used to it. Things weren't great. But she was used to the non-great life. It was okay. You've been there, right? You know what that's like, it's like, you know, it's not great, but it's not terrible. You're used to it. She had been part of the Israelites that were exiled by King Nebuchadnezzar. Now that had been a long time before she was born, but they were still away from their home. There was a great group of people for years. You've heard about them before. The guys the three Hebrew children that were with Daniel

Those they had been exiled as well as read Nehemiah. Sometimes the Bible's a little confusing the way it's put together. People put it together in a way that made sense to them, but it's not in chronological order in lots of places. We have it. I remember learning it this way, Ezra, Nehemiah, and Esther the queen, anybody learned that song.

We learned that to figure out how to find our place in the Bible, and that is the way it's lined up in the Bible, but it's not the way it happened. Ezra, Nehemiah, where we're actually after Esther, the queen. And during that period, when the Jews were exiled to Babylon,

God had said that they would be exiled for about 70 years. And they were many of them. They were allowed to go back. Cyprus allowed them to, go, Cyrus allowed them to go back. But many of them decided to stay because they'd been in exile for three generations. And that's a big change to make. It's a long time, too hard to start over. The exile happened in 605 BC. Then 70 years later, they got permission. You guys know what that's like to write. You've been doing something so long that even when you have permission to change, you don't want to just too hard. You've been there before. So that's what happened. The exile was 605. And then the three men in the fiery furnace, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. That happened in 580 BC. And then Daniel was thrown into the lion's den in 537 BC. And in 479 BC, Esther becomes the queen. Now, where we are in the story today is 474. That much time later, five years later, her parents and died. Pastor Jacob told us that and her cousin Mordecai adopted her as his own. She was beautiful. But her beauty got her taken away from her family. Have you noticed that about life? Lots of things that look good have a downside to him. Almost everything has an upside and a downside, right? My trees, some of you who follow on Facebook, you know that I have two beautiful trees in front of my house, Japanese maple. They've been there. Since before we move there. They've grown we've watched them be beautiful and they appear to be dying. All the leaves have been off, except for a few stragglers for about a month. And they look like they've been scorched and burnt. I found out as I've driven around that almost every Japanese maple in the area has the same kind of thing. So I'm not sure what's going on. And that's that on. I hate it. I hope that next year they'll come back and I don't have to cut them down. But there's an upside to it. Whatever it is that grew on the tree and made it die.

The birds love it. It's the best bird feeder I ever had. These, it's just crazy. I can't get pictures because the minute I walk out onto the porch to get a picture they fly away. But I have, I have a family of Cardinals, a family of Blue Jay's yellow fence and then the dark, dark kind of I think their offense to but all of those they're out there all the time all over the place and squirrels doing dances making Berkeley go crazy. It's just kind of, it's fun. It's fun to watch it. So I think even if the tree comes back, I'm gonna put birdhouses in the front instead of just in the back. Because it's so great to watch. It's a down thing that had an upside. That's the way it is with most of life. She was beautiful. But her beauty got her into some difficult places. It looked like things were good, because out of the blue, she became the queen in the Miss Persia con contest. But her identity as a Jew was a secret to many people, only the Jews knew that. She and that was a good thing. Because even though the Jews had been there for many years now they were still second class to most people. You know how that is. We have racial and ethnic issues in our country where many of us will feel bad. We don't like other groups as well as ourselves, we think we're a little better. And that's the way it was for her. She was second class as so many. So they kept her identity a secret and it seemed as though she was fortunate to become Miss Persia, the be the queen. Because in her day, being the Queen meant she was going to have cared for she was going to be important. On that day, people had to scrounge for their food. The only food that would last for a long time without spoiling much was grain. And so you know, they had to work hard at it. Everybody did. And the people, the rich people, like the king, they would have the food they would always have food unless the whole nation got in trouble even if no one else had it. So she was going to get specially cared for. But she also knew she was going to have to tow the line very carefully to live there. She wouldn't be able to take care of her family. She would be able to have enough resources to share with them. But oh, that husband.

That was rough. That was rough. I'm not even going to ask for any amens on some on anyone who can tell you that marrying a rich person may not be all that it's cracked up to be. Okay? That's there's a brave person right there any elbows around, okay.

But she knew his history. And she knew that he was the top dog in the picture of male chauvinism. That was the story of that day. She knew that she knew that she was his property. She was a trophy wife, he had behaved very, very badly. His first wife, she threw a bank with the same night he threw banquet girls banquet guys banquet, he threw his banquet and in his bank with the men got very, very drunk. And the drunker they got, and showing off a little bit, the more he thought, I want my trophy wife to come in here and these men to see who she is. So we don't know what he wanted her to do exactly when she came. But he asked for her, ordered her to come to his banquet, and get on the platform and let herself be seen by all these drunken, leering men. Sounds like a good time than that?

She said no. She said no to her King to her husband, she wouldn't come. And he was infuriated. She was actually pretty fortunate that he didn't kill her because he could do that. But listen to this. I think it's it's I gotta hurry because I've got so much I'd like to share with you. Um, but this is worth reading. Ladies try to control your laughter. Okay. So he's gone. He's asking for advice from his chief adviser. And his chief chief adviser says to him, King Vashti, has wronged not only the king but every noble and citizen throughout your empire. women everywhere will begin to despise their husbands when they learn that Queen, Queen Vashti has refused to appear before the king before this day is out. the wives of all the kings' navels through nobles throughout a Persian media will hear what the Queen did and they will start treating their husbands the same way, there will be no end to their contempt and anger. So if it pleases the king, we suggest that you issue a written decree, a law of the Persians and Medes that cannot be revoked. It should order that Queen Vashti forever vanish from the presence of King Xerxes and that the king should choose another queen more worthy than she when this decree is published throughout the king's vast empire, husbands everywhere, whatever their rank, will receive proper respect from their wives. The king and his nobles thought this made good sense. So he followed the council, he sent letters to all parts of the Empire to each province in its own script in language, proclaiming,

proclaiming that every man should be the ruler of his own home and say whatever he pleases. It's a great law, don't you think? Yeah, we women can joke about that. And we can say things. You know, if I spend another dollar at Target, my husband's gonna have my head. And we can make a joke about it. They weren't making a joke. He could have her head, he could have put it on a platter.

This could really happen. So this was the kind of marriage that Esther married into, you need to know that hang on to that for where we go today. Now, Mordecai, you know, there is lots of jealousy and problems in the kingdom, we still see it in in lots of third world type countries, countries around the world who still operate in this way that they can overthrow the government easily by a coup. And so you, if you have that happening a lot. We'll see smaller nations that happening, all kinds of things. In fact, it happened in Haiti, just shortly before the earthquake. Mordecai had discovered one of those plots, and he saved the king's life. And Esther told the king about it. And he was very, very grateful. But he had a short memory, he forgot about it really quickly. And when a promotion came up, Haman who hated Mordecai was promoted instead of Mordecai. And Haman said to the king, he said, you know, since you gave me this promotion, it'd be really cool. It would just mean so much to me. If you would send out an order that in recognition of my great accomplishment, that you would have everybody when they see me coming to bow down to me. the guy had an ego-dense big ego. He said I'd love to see that happen. And so the king said, Sure, sure. So he sends out an edict that's supposed to happen. Now here's the thing. If you were a Jew if you faithful served God, you refuse to bow to anyone except God.

You would bow your knee to no one. But for him.

That's why Daniel got in trouble. That's why the three Hebrew children got in trouble. Because they would not bow down, either. And you remember this happened. I just told you this happened before Esther 100 years or so before her. And she was raised in a Jewish Home. She was raised hearing those stories. She knew it. She knew it. Mordecai knew it. He wasn't going to bow. And so when Haman would come by, Mordecai just stood there, he didn't yell names, he didn't do anything to call attention to himself. He just didn't bow down. And it made Heyman so angry. He was so angry at mordekaiser refusal to bow down, and the fact that it came from his faith, it wasn't just him, you know, being a mean guy. He refused to do it. Because of his faith. He was so mad that he told the king, you know what, there's a bad race. There's a bad race. It's not just one or two bad guys, there's an entirely bad race that lives within this nation. And you know, they're gonna have an insurrection against you someday, because they just refuse to bow. He didn't want to just kill Mordecai, he wanted to kill everybody. So when he told the king about it, he said, I'd like to have permission to wipe out all of these people, it will help you to, it'll help me. And the king said, Sure, sure enough, you can do that. And they drew lots to choose a day that would happen. And the day that that came up was March 7, and it was just short of a year from that time it was going to happen on March 7.

So they sent out a message and told everybody to warn them ahead of time, you got a death sentence hanging over your head for just about a year, all the Jews will be killed, all the Jews will be killed, that spread through the nation. Can you imagine the anguish and panic and fear? Where are they going to go? There's no place to go. It's going to happen.

So after Mordecai gets this, and we don't know how long this took, we don't know. You know, sometimes when you read a story, and one thing happens right after you think it happened, bang, bang, bang, well, they had a year. I don't know how long it took for all of this to happen for them to pray and think and decide what they should do. But when Mordecai heard about it, he sent a message to his cousin Esther, and he said,

You need to go to the king. And you need to beg and plead for your people.

Can you imagine Esther when she got this? What are you out of your mind? You're the one who told me to hide the fact that I was a Jew. You're the one who told me that. And now you're telling me to go tell my husband who doesn't know. I'm supposed to go say I'm gonna beg for all of these people now. And you didn't even know that I was there. This can't be good. Besides that, everyone knows where to cut. Everybody knows that you can't see the king. Unless you get a special invitation. Even if you're his queen.

It's instant death for disrespect. You can't go to where he is unless he invites you. And Mordecai. I think the honeymoons are over. I mean, we've been married for five years now. I've been his queen for five years now on man, there was a day when we first got married, he couldn't get enough of me.

He hasn't even sent me a text in 30 days.

It's been a while. I just can't do it. Mordecai. It's too dangerous. It's too hard. You'll have to find another way.

That's what she was saying to Mordecai. Can you imagine what she was saying to God? This Jewish girl who had been raised to believe? Seriously, God, seriously, you have all kinds of power. I grew up hearing about the Red Sea. I grew up hearing about how you created the whole world. I grew up with all of that. I've heard it. I've heard it my whole life. You do it. You do it. You can stop the king you do it? Or if you won't do it, help Mordecai do it. You're the one who saved his life before How about you just move in and save everybody's life? How about you do this? Mordecai, you raise no fool here. I can't do this. I see the cost. I can't. Here's what we know for sure. There was elaborate going back and forth here. We don't know how long it took. But we do know that the execution date for all of this to take place was about a year out under the sentence of death for a year. Thinking about it all the time.

If you have cancer, if you've ever had it you know what that's like you feel under the sentence of death. You think about it when you go to sleep at night, you think about it when you wake up in the morning if you have a serious disease of any kind, you feel under the sentence of death. And you think about it, you think about that. She thought about it all the time. What's going to happen? You know, she was praying for someone to step up.

Could the king reconsider? Could somebody speak up? Can somebody do this? What's going to happen? You know, what?

If you've grown up in Sunday school, if you've grown up in church, I'll Betcha you know what she did. A bunch of them put out a fleece.

Do you know what that is? When getting it's from Gideon's story. When he, God told him what to do. But he didn't want to do it. And he was scared and so on. He goes to bed at night, and he puts out a sheepskin and he says, God, if you really want me to do this, have there be do all around the sheepskin, but not on the sheepskin. That's a pretty big request. He wakes up in the morning, and that's exactly what's happening. No, do on the sheepskin all over the ground. It's like, Yeah, I don't think that was really good. Maybe something else happened there. And so he said, Let's try it again. And so he said, This time, God, this time, I want to do only on the sheepskin, and not on the grass around.

God did it again. It was hard to do that. Don't we do that kind of thing? God if you want me to do this, that fly that's right there, make it stay there for five minutes.

You know, you've done stupid stuff like that, right? You know, you have Yeah, we do this because we're trying to make God prove to us that we're supposed to do something. Maybe he'll remember she's thinking maybe the king will remember the good things that he had with me and call me back. And then in the middle of a romantic moment, I can ask him and he won't turn me down.

But the king never called for.

God was silent. And so was everybody else. No one was speaking up except Mordecai. And he was saying things that she didn't want to hear. Sometimes in this process. Mordecai realize nothing was happening. If Esther was doing anything, she would have kept him up on it. And she didn't, nothing was happening. So he messaged Esther, back, he sent this answer to her. Do not think that because you were in the King's House, you alone of all the Jews will escape. For if you remain silent at this time, new thought to Esther.

The only thing she had been concentrating on was that God was silent.

For if you remain silent at this time, new thought maybe God's thinking why doesn't our queen speak up? Maybe people are thinking why doesn't our queen speak up? All she's listening to is the silence of God. And it's never occurred to her that her silence is critical.

For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place. But you and your father's family will perish. You know God's plan is always going to happen. It may take a lot of years, it may take some turns and twists. You didn't want it to take but God's plan will always happen. But you and I can miss our part of the plan.

Because none of our plans ever come without issues. Quickly. I'll just tell you real quick. Some of you will remember back in the day when Cornerstone Church had a music festival we called corner stock.

is great fun. It was wonderful. God used to do a great lot of things.

 I bet most of you don't know, we caught heck over that. People thought we were wild and crazy. And well, I mean we are looking at Joe Kruger. I mean really.

But people thought we were wild and crazy. Lots of criticism for that. And then we trans we just went ahead and did it anyway. And then we transformed from a corner stock to a leap, which became our community thing. And I still one of my favorite pictures is one morning when we were giving out school supplies to anybody needy in the area. We had over 2000 people hours before it was supposed to happen lined up around our building in circles because they were there to get this. We got in trouble for that to other churches in the area criticized us, criticized us and we were trying to undercut we were trying to do all these kinds of things. Now we weren't trying to do that we were trying to serve people. Jesus died for we were trying

To love people, and that was so long ago, nobody was giving away school supplies, then we don't even do it anymore. Why? Because about 20 years later, everybody else caught up with it. You know, we don't have to do it anymore. Because the schools and other churches, do that no plan of God that He gives to you will come without criticism, nothing. If you don't get any criticism for it is probably your own doggone idea, not gods, not gods.

Wow.

And then he says, if you remain silent at this time, God's gonna get the work done, but through somebody else, and who knows, but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this. You know, Ephesians 210 says this about you and me, it says that we are masterpieces that God created to do special good things that he dreamed up for us a long time ago, the very situation that you're in has not caught not by surprise, he has something you're supposed to do. He has a part of this miracle for you to be part of a masterpiece created for good works for you to do well. Maybe in your situation. Maybe you're just like Esther, maybe God is waiting on you. Maybe you're alarmed by God's silence and God's looking at you and say a cat got your tongue? What's up with you? Why don't you say anything? Why don't you speak up? Maybe it's God. And a needy world looks around. They say maybe you're the one who needs to do the next right thing. Maybe you were created for this. Now, maybe in your situation. You are like yesterday over and over and over again, you've waited for deliverance to come from somewhere else.

But all you can think of is the terrible things that will happen if you speak up.

They'll never speak to you again.

You'll get fired, your reputation will get ruined, you'll be humiliated.

They won't understand.

There'll be even madder than they are right now.

And like Esther, you may have very reasonable evidence to stay silent. Prior track records tell you this is probably not going to go well for you.

They may not.

It may not go well for you. My life is a story of obeying God, not immediately going well for me.

What if no one else is coming?

What if this is your assignment?

What if you have come to the kingdom for just a time like this?

Bigger than what will happen to you and me in these situations? Is what is the cost? If we don't speak up? What's the cost? If we don't? Well, they won't know Jesus, the battle will be lost. The effort will fail. God's work will be stifled. what and who is going to die? If you are silent? If you don't speak up? What is the thing that you don't understand why God is silent about? What Is that wrong? Is the inferior situation that you just think God should fix this? What is the incredible, risky, scary thing that you could do?

What is it? what might happen if you remain silent?

Who knows? Maybe you are in your place for exactly this time. Maybe you are the one that God and everyone else is waiting on. So what happened next?

Nothing.

Nothing.

God didn't speak. No one stepped up.

But finally, Esther's integrity rose to the surface. What is integrity?

What is integrity? Andy Stanley says it's doing what you ought to. Even if it costs you say that with me, doing what you ought to, even if it costs you even if you do it alone, even if God hasn't promised you success, even if you don't feel peace about it. Even if you don't see any way this can go well if it's the right thing. You do it. If it's the right thing, you do it that deserves a really big amen. If it's the right thing you do it Especially if you claim to be a Jesus follower, especially if you claim to have the power of Almighty God, those three Hebrew children, Esther had heard this story many times, because they wouldn't bow, they were going to be thrown into a fiery furnace heated seven times hotter. And this is what they said to the king.

The God we serve. Well, he's well able to save us from you. He's well able to save us from this fire. But even if he does not, he is still good. Do you hear that? They weren't determining what they were going to do based on the outcome. They knew this was an evil king. They knew the chances were they were going to be french fries. They knew that. But even if he does not save us, he is still good. We will not bow. And then there was Daniel, Daniel. Everyone was against him. Everyone was against him.

The king was so angry at him. And he had been he's a really good friend, that he threw him into a pit of lions. What's your chance? What's your chance? And he said, Oh, King, do what you got to do. I will not? I will not. And Esther, I can't help but believe these stories filled her mind of her heroes, of the people who were in tough situations, and God didn't do anything, except just be God, except just be trustworthy, except promised to be faithful. And she followed suit. So when she finally sent an answer, chapter four, verse 15, she said, then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai, go gather all the Jews who are in suits and fast for me, do not eat or drink for three days, night or day, I in my attendance will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go even though it's against the law. And if I perish,

I perish.

Your heart just starts beating fast hearing that. Do you know that's what God wants for you when he's silent?

I will go, even though if I perish, I perish.

You know, there's that deadly awkward silence. When everyone is waiting for someone to speak up, when everyone else is silent, and say no more. You know how it is when someone gives a sexual an ethnic or racial slur. And there's a little bit of awkward laughter

shame on us.

If we are God's people, the awkwardness should be on the person who said it.

I will not hear that. In my presence. I will not hear it. There's an awkward silence.

I will go even though if I perish, I perish. We need to be able to say that will not happen around me. It will not happen around me.

It will not happen that will allow our church to be known for what we're against instead of what we're for. Every one of us, cannot happen around us. You and I need to be willing to lose our friends, our reputation, our family, for integrity's sake. We need to be willing to do that we need to be willing God is waiting to hear from you and me.

I will go even though I will open my mouth and speak up. If I perish. I perish. I will speak this is what God is waiting to hear from us. He's waiting on us. I can't go into details because it's too personal. But my friend Kendra Luna, she's part of our Clearblue team. She's in Haiti right now after the earthquake again, she lost more than you could ever dream to imagine even large parts of her family because God spoke not at the moment. He spoke through her integrity. He spoke through her compassion. She was in the Dominican Republic when the first earthquake happened. And she moved to Haiti and lived in a tent city and ministered to those people.

So many have come to Christ and have found life. And now she builds homes for displaced people down there. And she's back down there again. She's back down there again. I wish I could tell you everything she's lost because of that. But she hasn't lost her integrity. She hasn't lost the presence of Jesus. She's thriving in new ways. Listen, did you know that pieces a lie, most of the time, pieces a lie. We say, Well, I won't do that until I have the peace of God. Or I'll do this thing that lacks integrity because I feel peace of you over yourself. You know what most of us call peace. Most of us call peace when we don't feel conflict anymore. When we have decided the path to take, I'm going to do this. And so I feel peace, the decision is made. That's not the peace of God. Listen, when you're doing God's Will God's way, you won't always feel peaceful, nobody feels peaceful, when they're getting their head cut off. They feel the presence. But peaceful, that's different.

You're not going to feel incredible peace and joy every time you do the right thing. But you will feel the presence of God. I bet you want to know the rest of the story. Don't say I'm running out of time. So I'm not going to tell you.

 It's very exciting to read what God's started to do. When Esther spoke up, he began doing some unbelievable things that would not have been set into action unless Esther said I will go even though but you need to read it yourself. There are only five more chapters. And I will tell you, you need to read that. This week, make sure that you do. But here's what I will tell you. I don't want to tie this up neatly with a bow because most of life is not tied up neatly with a bow. And it wasn't for Esther either. It took a while before the good things that she hoped for began to happen. But we have a faithful and trustworthy god no matter what. We don't get to determine the end of the story. We can only be determined to do what is right, no matter what we can only say I will go even though if I perish, I perish. If not, he is still good. Wow, what a stretch it is for many of us to say that we have something tragic happened. And we'll say well, nowhere God was karma on come on. If not, he is still good. I will go even though if I perish, I perish. Listen, if all of your stories turned out the way you wanted them to, that would make you God, and God wouldn't be necessary. They're not going to turn out that way. God always does the most redemptive thing, the best big picture thing in your circumstances, allowing other people to make their own choices to win this be a great place if only you and God made choices, and be so great everybody else and hated but wouldn't be good, right? Everybody gets to make their own choices they get to. And here's what God promises you and I, he doesn't promise he's going to take away their choices. But he promises that when all the accounts are settled, will be with him and we'll come out ahead. Does anybody here besides me have verses you wish weren't in the Bible?

I do. here are some of my least favorite verses. It comes from Hebrews 11. They've just been telling all the glorious stories of the three Hebrew children and Daniel and all of these wonderful things and Jonah and all of that. All these wonderful deliverances and then it says this, starting at verse 35, but others were tortured.

Refusing to turn from God in order to be set free. they place their hope in a better life after the resurrection. Some were jeered at and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in prison, some died by stoning. Some more saw than half others were killed with the sword someone about wearing skins of sheep and goats destitute and oppressed and mistreated. They were too good for this world, wandering over the deserts and mountains hiding in caves and holes in the ground.

Who were they? We don't know their names.

 But they were the I will go even though people they were the if I perish, I perish people. They were the and if not, he is still good people, people. They died believing God was faithful and would never be in debt to them. And Hebrews 1116 says, and God was proud to be their father.

Now that's a statement. Wouldn't you like that on your tombstone?

God was proud to be her father. God was proud to be his father. We're gonna have to admit a lot of us don't speak up when we should. Is he proud? Oh, I don't think so. I don't think so. God was proud to be there. Father, Psalm 23. Pastor Jacobs mentioned it a couple of times this morning. One of the best things in the Bible, and don't we love to say? Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life?

Yes, yes, Jesus Holy Spirit. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever.

Yeah. But you know, that only comes after you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, right?

It only comes after that.

It only comes after that. And perhaps you didn't know the song we sang this morning. I wasn't aware when I wrote this, that we were going to be singing it. But the goodness of God, you recognize it's talking about that? See, we want the goodness of God to go in front of us because it's so easy to follow when it's out there.

But it's goodness and mercy that follow us. And we were just singing and getting real happy about his goodness is running after running after me.

The truth is, we want it running in front of us. We want it to clear our path. We want us. We want it to make it easy. But I want to tell you, I don't have time to tell you about my life. But here's what I'll tell you if you know me very well.

I have a blessed life, not a term life. I have an incredibly fulfilling life. Not an easy life. My heart has been broken more times than I can count. But his goodness is running after me. It's running after me. It's pursuing me. In fact, jail knew what I was gonna say. I leaned over, we started singing. I said you remember, you remember? And he said, Yeah, I know, mom. at your funeral. You've already got your funeral plan. This is the song that your casket comes into.

It's true. It's my testimony. God's goodness hasn't always been evident in front of me. But it's so evident behind me. His goodness is running after running after me. And I will dwell on that the Lord forever.

Because I will go even though and if I perish, I perish. And I will walk through the valley of the shadow. Whatever it cost. There is no way to get to the end without going through the middle. Have you noticed that? That just really sucks. I wish we could go from here to here and hop over this stuff in the middle. But we don't get to do that. There's no way to complete a 500 mile trip without that stretch of 200 to 400 miles where the kids will not shut up. There's just no way.

There's just no way but you hang in and you get there. Some of you today. Need to say welcome middle. Here we are. Here we are. I'm in the middle of this. God is silent. I think he might be waiting on me to speak up. Wow. It's not my favorite place. But it's a significant place. The middle is most generally the place we think we're waiting on God. Most of the time, I think he's waiting on us. There's an incredible song that I love. We stick it around here, son, we're gonna sing it here in just a minute. It's a song called available. Listen to these words. Esther could have written them. Narrow as the road may seem all follow where your Spirit leads broken as my life may be. I'll give you every piece. I hear you call. I am available. I'm available. Here I am with open hands counting on your grace. Again, less of me and more of you. I just want to see you move. You can have it all. You can have it all. Yeah, we want to say we're available to God when we get the job offer right? When we see what the perks are going to be in the pay is guaranteed. Yeah, God, I'm available for that job.

When we know how it's going to happen when we know how the end will be yes. Hey, God, I'm available. I'll do that. I'll do that right there. No, God always works like Abraham.

Abraham set out following God just because God said to get up and go and it said he didn't even know where he was going. He just started going. You and I have to be people who can save our souls from the tips of our toes. I will go even though

Will you have integrity and do the next right thing even if you won't be vindicated until heaven. Will you do the right thing? anyway? Will you do the right thing anyway? If it won't go as you hope? Will you do the right thing? Can he have it all? Maybe God is silent because he is waiting on you to do what you ought to do, even though it costs you

really.

Are you available for that shift?

Are you available for that job? You better be because it's the only one that's open. I will go even though