The best relationship principles taught by the experts come straight from the relationship values taught by Jesus. Perhaps the most surprising thing is that my relationships, both with God and with others, are most directly affected by unresolved issues inside my heart—you know, that invisible, mysterious, confusing, wonderful part of each of us that enables us to love, laugh, fear, and experience life. It’s the place where relationships are built - and broken. The unresolved issues in your heart will eventually work their way to the surface and seep into your relationships. When I think of my most embarrassing moments and my biggest regrets, more often than not they have something to do with my relationSLIPs. The time to address the slippage is now.

Jealousy can turn to resentment in a heartbeat, but the real issue with my jealousy is ME - not them. I feel like God is short-changing me. Celebrating the wins of the other person sets me free and puts life back in perspective. 

Message Notes

Guilt says, “I owe you.”
Anger says, “You owe me.”
Greed says, “I owe me.”

Jealousy says, “God owes me.”

Jealousy is dangerous.
It shapes our attitudes towards other people.
Our jealousy leads to resentment—then satisfaction when they have a setback.

The people who “make me jealous” can’t do anything about it.
The inequity is something God could fix but he doesn’t, so I take it out on them.

The driving force of jealousy is the factor in every relationship struggle you will ever have.
It is dangerous–it shapes our attitudes towards other people.

What is causing the quarrels and fights among you? Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you?You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.And even when you ask, you don’t get it because your motives are all wrong—you want only what will give you pleasure.
James 4:1-3

The common denominator in all my relational struggles is me.
I want something and I don’t get it.

Blaming is an admission that I cannot be happy without your cooperation.
You have control over me.

Solution: Pour your heart and desires out to God.

Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
James 4:2

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
I Peter 5:7

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin.
Hebrews 4:15

God might say no.
God loves you too much to give you everything you want.
He is the Source of all good things, not all wished-for things.

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17

Confession handles guilt,forgiveness handles anger, and generosity handles greed.
celebration handles jealousy.

Don’t wait until you are free to tell them.
Tell them now.

Bottom Line
Jealousy shapes my attitude towards other people

Next Steps

1. Who have you distanced yourself from because of jealousy/resentment?

2. Instead of being silent or critical, celebrate the success of others.

3. Move forward for yourself and your children—ask the questions. Keep your heart clean.